I’d just been transferred for work to a small country town. I’d only ever grown up in the city and I was finding it really tough adjusting to the new surroundings and the change of lifestyle. It felt like I was being watched and judged 24/7 by the locals.
I found it so hard to make friends as the town was very cliquey and didn’t welcome outsiders, which I was.
After being there a few months, I met a local guy called Sam. We were both having dinner at a restaurant and he came up to me and made small talk for no apparent reason which I found to be rather odd. People in the city don’t just walk up to strangers and engage them in a conversation.
Every so often I’d see him here or there, it was a small place and bumping into the same people was common.
I’d found out through the local grapevine that Sam was a fair bit younger than me. He was doing a construction apprenticeship and still living at home with his Mother and Father.
After a few “bump ins” at the pub and down the street, I found him incredibly immature and irritating and honestly couldn’t stand being anywhere near him.
Somehow Sam got my mobile phone number and he started texting me. He asked me out about a hundred times but was constantly rejected. I felt like he was just out for a good time when I wanted something a little bit more stable.
A few more months went by and I found myself growing lonelier and lonelier. I thought that perhaps I’d been a bit judgmental with Sam and that maybe I should get to know him first before dismissing him.
I called Sam up and we arranged to spend some time together. After a few weeks it turned into a relationship which Sam was very enthusiastic about.
It wasn’t long before I realised that Sam and I weren’t compatible. He was childish and inconsiderate and probably needed a babysitter more than a girlfriend. He’d get drunk on the weekends and ring me at all hours of the night to pick him up from wherever, and if I didn’t, he would walk to my house and knock on the door until I let him in.
He would stay over at my place every night and spend every moment of his spare time at my house. It got on my nerves like anything. I later found out that his parents, who had never met me, did not want me to come over to their house for some unknown reason.
I got quite close to one of Sam’s friends Stuart who I am still very good friends with to this day. I would often confide in him and went to him because he knew Sam best.
Stuart would often tell me that Sam was a bit of a “ladies man” and that he was talking to this female at the pub on the weekend, or he walked home with this female. This sparked my curiosity so I would confront Sam but he would just brush it off with a “I grew up with her, I was just walking her home safely” and that kind of rubbish. I dropped it but kept it at the back of my mind.
Every month, Sam would have to travel 3 hours away to do his TAFE course which went for a week. During that week, he’d study during the day and party hard at night.
One of these weeks, he came home with a hickey on his neck, clear as day. I confronted him about this and he said, “I couldn’t get her off me, she over powered me, we’re just mates, nothing happened, I swear, I only want to be with you.”
It was this point that in my head, the relationship was over. I wasn’t particularly upset but I was angry that he would think I am that stupid to believe an excuse as pathetic as that.
In the next few weeks, we drifted apart but he wouldn’t let go. I’d had enough and I wanted him out of my life. One night I rang him and told him he needed to come over, we needed to talk. I’d worked out a brilliant deception to get him out of my life.
He came over. I told him I’d been to the Doctor and had a blood test. I told him that I had contracted an STD and that he should probably get tested. He broke down. He confessed to me that he had been unfaithful for some time with various girls, including the one that had given him the hickey when he was at TAFE. Finally, it was confirmed. I told him to get out of my house and to never speak to me ever again.
I’m not proud of lying to him but it did lead me to the truth. I am much more careful now with who I let into my life and I will not allow myself to be treated like this ever again.
All names have been changed. Picture posed by models.
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