I was so pleased when Melissa moved into the house next door to me a couple of years ago. Melissa was a single mum about my age and had two little boys aged three and five years. Her kids often came over the fence and played with my two children. Since Melissa and I were both at-home mums, we soon became really close friends as well. My husband was a shift worker doing really long hours and I was pretty lonely, so it was great to have some adult company for a change.
About a year after she moved in next door, Melissa introduced me to David, a guy she’d met at a singles night at our local pub. Melissa was really keen on him and not long after they met, David moved in to live with Melissa and her boys. At first I thought David was really nice, but it didn’t take long before I realised that he was an alcoholic and lazy as well. He didn’t have a job and never tried to look for work. The only things he would do for himself was to go to Centrelink to collect his unemployment benefits, and he made regular trips to the bottle shop to stock up on booze.
I saw how things changed at Melissa’s place, and after a month or two, eventually summoned up courage to talk to her about David. I tried to point out to Melissa that David just wasn’t good for her or her boys as she seemed to be completely unaware of the bad effect he was having on her family. It did no good though. Melissa only got angry with me and wouldn’t discuss her new relationship any further. I didn’t want to sour our friendship, so I let it go at that. Still, it just didn’t seem right to me that Melissa should have to support her lazy man on her single parents’ pension, but that was how it was because David always blew his money on more and more drink.
After a few months things started to get worse. I soon found out from Melissa’s boys that David was a violent drunk and it became a regular occurrence that I would hear him screaming at the kids. He would often start ranting and raving at them for no reason at all. Seconds after I’d hear David yelling, I’d then hear one or both of the boys screaming and crying as David starting laying into them with his belt. David was a fairly big man and it turned my stomach to see the way he treated those poor little boys. They were covered in bruises all the time and had quickly turned from being happy and confident kids into terrified children.
I tried to talk to Melissa about David again as I couldn’t just stand by and let him treat her kids like that. She became really angry when I told her it was her job as a mother to protect her boys from bullies like David. She started yelling at me that I’d always had it in for David. Melissa told me she was sick and tired of being lonely and that even if David wasn’t perfect, he made her happy and he was going to stay whether I liked it or not. She said he’d been telling her for ages that I was only a troublemaker and as she walked out the door, she told me that I was no friend of hers and she wasn’t going to talk to me again. I was devastated by our fight, but didn’t know how to patch things up with Melissa. Whatever happened to our friendship, I couldn’t just ignore those little boys’ sufferings.
After one particularly bad weekend of listening to David drunkenly rant and rave at Melissa’s kids, I finally took the plunge and phoned Family and Children’s Services to tell them what had been happening next door. I asked that my phone call be kept anonymous as I was hoping that the counsellors at Family and Children’s Services would make Melissa see that David was no good and had to go. I thought they would make her see sense and that once David left, we could be friends again.
A few days after my phone call, I answered frantic knocking at my front door to find Melissa standing there in tears. She eventually managed to choke out to me that the counsellors from Family and Children’s Services had just been to see her. David had been drunk as usual and not only did he use his belt on the boys in front of the counsellors, but he tried to assault the counsellors as well. They had quickly left and returned not long after with two police officers to take Melissa’s boys into protective custody. Melissa was distraught by what had happened and clung to me asking for help to get her boys back. I felt so two-faced as I assured Melissa that I would be there for her, knowing that it was my phone call that had caused her children to be taken away in the first place.
Melissa was absolutely heartbroken that her children were gone and kicked David out of her home the next day. When Melissa went to see the counsellors at Family and Children’s Services to find out how she could get her children home again, I went with her and supported her every step of the way. Melissa has now managed to get weekend access to her kids and is working on getting her boys home for good. She always tells me what a wonderful friend I’ve been to her through this ordeal, never judging her and never being too busy to listen. I’m still glad that I made that phone call, but I also feel so awful knowing it was me that caused Melissa’s boys to be taken away. I never realised things would go so far. I just wanted David to leave. Melissa often wonders which of her neighbours dobbed her in to welfare and I know I can never let her know that it was me who made that call. We’re as close as sisters, but she’d never speak to me again.
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