What form of infidelity would you forgive? A dodgy text? A drunken kiss? Or even a full-blown affair?
Each woman reportedly has a red line which, if crossed, means the relationship is over.
We spoke to four Take 5 readers who reveal their own red lines and how they managed to rebuild the trust with their partners.
Emily Silva, 29, shares her story:
I swirled my cocktail and looked up to see my boyfriend Jamie walking over.
I was having post-work drinks with a colleague, Sam*.
Her eyes lit up when he walked over to us.
“Jamie’s really hot” she whispered.
I’m not a jealous person. If anything I was flattered by it.
But Jamie heard her and was clearly happy about it too.
We’d been together for some time and had ‘the talk’ about how important it is to be faithful.
We both had a zero tolerance attitude about infidelity.
After that drink, he kept bringing up how Sam thought he was hot. And then a few days later, Sam approached me.
“There’s something you need to see,” she said, showing me her phone.
On it, there were lots of messages from Jamie.
Do you really think I’m hot? one read.
You’re hot too, read another.
I was livid. I rang him and shouted at him.
The next morning I had every intention of splitting up with him.
“Please, I was just flattered,” he begged, seeing how angry I was.
“It would never have gone any further. I love you.”
It took me a few weeks to forgive him but eventually did and we went on to have a son, Brady, one.
Now, we’re stronger than ever.
If things ever became physical with someone else I can’t see me forgiving him again.
Once sexual contact is made there is no coming back from that for me.
WATCH: Celebrities on their open relationships.
Alisa Gomez, 22, shares her story:
I was asleep when my phone bleeped and woke me.
Check this out, my sister wrote.
She’d sent me a message saying she’d seen a video of my boyfriend Ali kissing a girl.
The footage made me sick.
Ali and I had been together for three years.
The next morning I sent him the video.
What the hell is this? I asked.
He came clean immediately and apologised.
“I was so drunk baby, I’m sorry,” he said.
He came right over, literally begging for forgiveness.
I could tell in the video he was over his limit but I was heartbroken.
Still, I loved him, and we had a child together, so I forgave him.
What we have is more important than a drunken pash. Ali now knows that he has a limit with alcohol.
There are horrible consequences if he goes over it.
I still trust him to go out with his friends, but I wouldn’t forgive him if he had an affair or ongoing hook-ups though.
It took us some time, but we’ve moved on.
The Take 5 team weigh in on these stories in the Take 5 Ripper Real Life podcast. Check it out below!
Alice Hill, 23, shares her story:
My boyfriend Lee gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“I’m going out with the boys,” he said, “See you later.”
I was in my first trimester and was suffering with morning sickness.
Lee and I were living with his mum so I kissed him goodbye and settled in to have a chat with her.
At about 11pm, when Lee hadn’t come home I tried to call him but it went to voicemail.
I called one of his friends who told me he’d left the pub an hour before.
We shared an Apple watch so I looked over his texts to find out where he was.
That’s when I clocked the communication between him and another girl.
I immediately messaged her.
What’s going on? I demanded.
She told me she’d just had sex with Lee.
I was shattered.
The next morning I packed my bags.
I’m normally the type to kick off, but I felt really calm.
Lee came to see me full of apologies.
“It was the drink, I didn’t mean it,” he begged.
But I refused to speak to him for a few days.
And when I finally did answer his calls he broke down.
Eventually I decided to give him another chance, because of the baby.
We went on to have a son and Lee’s a great dad.
I still have trust issues, but everyone deserves a second chance and I want him in our son’s life.
I couldn’t believe what he’d done. (All images: Getty Images)
Lorraine Courtnage, 38, shares her story:
My heart sank as I saw two people cuddling up in a pub.
One of them was my boyfriend Chris.
I went up to the barman.
“A schooner of Guinness and a glass of chardonnay please” I ordered.
Then I calmly walked up to my boyfriend and his floozy, placed the drinks in front of them and went home.
I packed his stuff and didn’t see him again for seven months.
Chris and I had been dating for two years.
I’d met him when I was 19 and immediately knew I wanted to marry him.
I even told my mum that after our first date.
But people warned me about him and friends even said they’d spotted him out with another girl.
I was in denial until I caught them red-handed.
When we bumped into each other months later, I told him if he wanted to be in my life, he had to tell me every detail of the affair.
It was hard to hear they’d gone to places as a couple we’d been to as well.
We stayed friends but one night one thing led to another and I fell pregnant.
Now, we’ve had two kids together, Isabella, six, and Bear, one, and are very happy.
We go on holiday as a family but we also go away separately with mates.
I know he won’t change, he needs his freedom.
But no we have kids and I know he’d never risk an affair.
In fact, we’re about to get married.
