Fiance’s shock: I exposed my man’s sleazy secret…and got justice!

Melissa Walsh, 57, from Melbourne, Victoria tells her story to Take 5’s Theo Rule:

Swiping through Tinder, I was taken by the photo of a silver-haired gentleman in a naval uniform.

Member of the Royal Australian Navy, Fred’s profile read.

What do you do when you’re not at sea? I messaged him playfully.

I’m an artist, he replied.

After chatting, we made plans to meet for dinner.

My only attempt at love since my second divorce in 2012 had been when I appeared on Married at First Sight in 2018.

Sadly, my TV husband, John, and I, worked better as friends.

Now, as I spotted Fred, 54, at the restaurant, I felt nervous, but my fears were for nothing.

Fred’s gentlemanly ways reminded me of Richard Gere from ‘An Officer and a Gentleman’.

“I’d like to show you my paintings sometime,” he suggested. “I have some at my place.”

Two weeks later, I took him up on the offer.

Throughout his home were hundreds of his artworks … all of young, naked women.

Some had been painted, others drawn, but all were lifelike, with much detail paid to each exposed body.

“I’ve had many women pose for me,” Fred revealed.

I felt a sudden pang of concern in my gut.

Is he a pervert? I wondered.

But I reminded myself that it’s just art and I was probably feeling insecure in the presence of so many young, beautiful bodies.

“You’re very talented,” I smiled.

Before long, we were in a serious relationship, but my four kids weren’t exactly taken by Fred … or his art.

“Why can’t he paint a vase?” my eldest daughter, Chloe, 26, asked me after seeing them, “or even an overweight, middle-aged woman for once?”

“He’s tried landscapes before,” I told her. “But he says it’s not his niche.”

I’d been with Fred for a year and a half when we took a weekend getaway in early 2020.

Sipping champagne, Fred produced a ring.

“Will you marry me, Melissa?” he asked, staring into my eyes.

The uneasy feeling in my gut returned.

He’s a good man, I told myself.

“O-Ok,” I eventually responded, taking the ring.

I hadn’t intended to marry again, but much of my self-worth was tied up with being wanted by a man.

I moved in with him shortly after.

One night, in September 2020, we were watching a movie when Fred’s phone pinged.

I could see it was a text from his Navy mate Patrick, whom I’d met briefly.

Send me the photos, it read, followed by a revolting explanation as to why he wanted them.

Fred snatched up the phone.

“Just going to the bathroom”, he said.

At first, I wondered if I should just ignore it, but I couldn’t unsee what I’d read.

“What did you reply to Patrick’s text?” I asked when he returned.

“I didn’t get a text from him,” Fred responded calmly.

Not convinced, I demanded he hand over his phone.

Reluctantly he did and I saw that he’d sent Patrick nude photos of a young woman, taken in his studio.

The reason for my gut-feeling became horribly clear.

I was enraged.

“It’s so wrong, I know,” Fred admitted. “I promise I’ll get help.”

Fred added that if he went to ‘forbidden lands’ during the sitting, he’d capture it all.

This poor woman was being exploited … and my fiance was doing it.

I was horrified and heartbroken all at once.

Although I’d never met her, I felt it was my duty to defend her honour.

When Fred arrived home that evening, I threw my engagement ring at him.

“I’m not marrying you!” I shouted. “You’re not an artist, you’re just a seedy middle-aged man. I’ve read about everything you’ve done.”

Defeated, he didn’t stop me from leaving.

Harder than breaking off my engagement was telling this woman what Fred had been doing with her private images.

Things have been going on behind your back, I wrote to her on Facebook. I’m a woman who wants to help you.

She agreed to a phone call.

“This is going to be hard for you to hear,” I began and told her everything.

She gasped in horror.

“You have to stick up for yourself,” I encouraged her. “I’ll support whatever decision you make.”

Thankfully, she valued herself enough to report the matter to the Navy, which took it very seriously.

An investigation culminated in a Defence Magistrate Court trial in August 2022.

The servicewoman testified that she believed the photos were purely for artist reference and had told Fred that she didn’t want people in the ADF to see too much of her skin.

“I trusted these men,” she said. “I’m a woman who is usually confident and proud of my body. I feel humiliated, anxious, and judged.”

I also had to testify in court, reliving the whole experience.

Fred Whitson, 58, was convicted of two counts of using a carriage service to menace, harass, or cause offence and of prejudicial conduct, which resulted in his dismissal from the Navy.

Fletcher Mitchell, 38, was convicted of using a carriage service to menace, harass, or cause offence and had his rank reduced from Leading Seaman to Able Seaman.

Patrick Beaman, 39, also had his rank reduced from Able Seaman to Seaman and was fined $1000 after the magistrate found him guilty of prejudicial conduct.

Thankfully, that was the last time I saw Fred, or the other two.

Watching the victim receive justice, I realised how important it was that I’d spoken up.

But I was devastated I’d had yet another failed relationship.

After I’d split from Fred, I’d spent a lot of time learning to love myself, without needing a man’s approval.

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Now, I’m with a true gentleman, Michael, 58, and there’s a mutual respect and honesty in our relationship I’ve never known before.

Many women contact me saying they can relate to my experience with Fred.

My response to them is always the same; love yourself enough to leave a bad situation.

Check out Melissa’s website ninety-day-author.com/

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