Dawne Mair, 25 shares how she went to desperate measures for love:
I checked my reflection in the mirror and grabbed my bag.
“You need a good night out,” my friend Jade said as we left.
I was down in the dumps after breaking up with my boyfriend Andy.
I’d known him since we were teenagers and a few months earlier our friendship had blossomed into something more.
But then we’d started arguing and ended up calling it quits.
At the bar that night, I realised Jade was right.
Plenty more fish in the sea, I told myself.
As the drinks flowed, I began to relax, and then I noticed a handsome bloke on the dance floor.
Feeling bold and a little tipsy, I sidled over and began chatting to him.
It felt good flirting again and before I knew it he leant down and pressed his lips against mine.
I closed my eyes and kissed him back.
His hands roamed over my body and I felt the floor beneath me begin to spin.
Just then, Jade came over.
“Dawne, I’m leaving,” she said.
I muttered a quick goodbye to my mystery man and dashed after her.
I put the cheeky night down to a bit of harmless fun.
In my heart, I wasn’t ready to move on from Andy.
Andy and me.
The following week, I woke up in the night with a sharp, stabbing pain in my stomach.
I switched the light on, pulled my doona back and gasped.
My sheets were covered with blood.
I took myself to the hospital where doctors told me I’d had a miscarriage.
“I didn’t even know I was pregnant,” I said.
I felt sad and confused and knew I needed to tell Andy.
Soon, he turned up on my doorstep.
We chatted for hours while I sobbed about our lost child.
He was devastated too.
“It’s made me realise how much I want a family with you,” he said. I sniffed back tears and stared at him.
“Should we try again?” he asked, taking hold of my hand. I nodded.
At first things were bliss but only days later, Andy came home cranky.
“I’ve been hearing rumours,” he said. “Was there anyone else while we were apart?”
The memory of that drunken kiss at the bar flashed up in my mind, but the lie slipped out of my mouth before I had the chance to stop it.
“No,” I said. “No one.”
But he wouldn’t let it go and then one morning he dropped a bombshell.
“I want you to take a lie detector test,” he said.
“What?” I said. “We’ve been over this already. Why won’t you believe me?”
“If you’re really telling the truth, you’ll do it,” he replied.
Me.
“Fine,” I snapped.
I knew that I hadn’t cheated while we were together and any test would prove that.
Besides, I was fairly sure Andy wouldn’t go through with it.
But I was wrong. He made all the arrangements and as I readied myself, I felt my nerves jangle.
I went to a hotel room and was hooked up to a polygraph machine, then the questions began.
“Have you had sex with another man while in a relationship with Andy?” he asked.
“No,” I said, truthfully.
“Have you kissed another man since the start of your relationship with Andy?”
I felt a pang of guilt but I pushed it out of my mind.
“No,” I replied firmly.
It was only a little fib.
But the results came back and Andy’s face was a picture.
I’d lied.
“I can explain,” I stuttered, but he was furious.
“I knew it!” he shouted, storming off. “We’re over.”
I ran after him, begging him to listen to me.
We took lie detector tests.
“It was just a stupid, drunken kiss before we got back together,” I sobbed. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”
Once he’d calmed down, he agreed to give our relationship another shot.
We put the test behind us and started afresh.
Months passed and things were great but then Andy started acting strangely.
He was distant and jumpy and glued to his phone.
Something’s not right, I thought.
But whenever I confronted him, he’d fly off the handle.
“Get lost,” he yelled. “You’re the one who cheated on me!”
Alarm bells started ringing even louder.
Then I discovered something horrible.
He’d signed up to Facebook groups which encouraged people to send explicit photos of themselves to each other.
I was disgusted and realised there was only one way to find out if Andy had done the dirty on me.
“It’s your turn to take a lie detector test,” I told him.
“I don’t need to prove myself,” he replied.
But I stood my ground and a few days later he agreed, as long as I wasn’t there during the questioning.
“Okay,” I said.
He went off, and when he returned he told me he’d done the test and passed.
But the next day, I spoke to the company who I’d arranged it with and found out that Andy had never appeared for his appointment!
It was a red flag.
There were so many lies.
“Do the test or we’re finished,” I said.
“Fine,” Andy snapped.
He had to answer the same questions as I had, and when the results came back my heart sank.
He’d been lying too.
“I knew it,” I said sadly.
Suddenly the truth poured out of Andy like water from a tap.
“I was still angry with you for lying,” he said, “So I slept with someone else.”
Now it was my turn to storm off.
Andy begged me to hear him out, just like I’d done only a few months earlier.
When I’d calmed down, we talked for hours and realised we’d been as bad as each other.
He promised never to speak to the other woman again and even smashed up his phone to prove it.
“We’ll draw a line under what we’ve both done and from now on, no more lies,” I said.
The first few months were rocky as I learnt to trust him again.
But now, I’m so glad I did.
We’re happier than ever and I’m pregnant!
It might’ve taken two lie detector tests to get to this point but our mistakes have only made us stronger.
Andy told take 5:
It’s been a rollercoaster.
I felt betrayed by Dawne because she lied, which is why I slept with another woman, but I shouldn’t have done it.
We’ve both learnt a lot.
