Josh Clutterbuck, 27, from Ashgrove, Queensland, shares his story:
Content warning: This article mentions suicide, and reader discretion is advised
My phone pinged with a message from my dad, Michael, asking me to call him as soon as possible, so I rang back.
“I’m so sorry…” Dad, 56, stammered. “Matt’s taken his own life.”
Matt had been my best friend since we were six.
He had been working in remote North Queensland for a couple of years as a paramedic.
It was June 2022, and I was at TAFE, studying to be an apprentice plumber.
Stunned, I stood staring at all the young blokes milling past, trying to take in this devastating news.
I’d spoken to him just a couple of days before and he’d told me he was homesick, but I’d had no clue he was feeling so low.
Losing him was the toughest time of my life.
With Matt (Image: supplied)
I run a podcast with my friend D’Arcy called Bloody Brilliant Beers.
It started out as a beer review platform but soon evolved into us bantering about all sorts of things.
After Matt died, I made it my mission to talk regularly about mental health on the podcast.
It helped me to grieve.
Months later, I saw that swimwear brand Budgy Smuggler was holding a competition to find Australia’s Most Ordinary Rig – a normal man’s body – to highlight that what’s most important is a man’s character, not what he looks like.
When I left school, I stopped playing sport like I once did and put on weight.
With Caitlin (Image: supplied)
I used to feel insecure about it.
But now, after Matt’s death, I realised that was silly.
“I’m thinking of entering this,” I said to my girlfriend Caitlin, 24, showing her the competition details.
“You should totally do it,” she laughed. “I love your ordinary rig.”
That day, after recording our podcast, D’Arcy took some pictures of me in my budgie smugglers.
We uploaded them onto social media, alongside a funny caption about how hard I’d been training drinking beers with my mates to get a body like mine.
I received thousands of likes and was stoked to be selected as one of the 10 finalists.
Rocking the budgy smugglers (Image: supplied)
In October 2022, I was flown to Sydney for the big event, which took place at nightclub The Ivy.
Like Victoria’s Secret models, us 10 hairy blokes strutted in our budgies down the catwalk, bellies proudly on display.
Next, we had to showcase our own ‘special talent’. Mine was singing and dancing to Kylie Minogue’s song On a Night Like This.
The crowd went wild as I shook my booty.
“And the winner is… Josh ‘Clutz’ Clutterbuck,” the judges announced.
I couldn’t believe it!
Moments after winning Australia’s Most Ordinary Rig (Image by Mark Morgan Photography)
The other blokes picked me up and paraded me on their shoulders.
It was a lot of fun, but the best part is I’ve donated half of my $10,000 winnings to Ashgrove GPS footy club, where Matt and I were members since we were six.
They’re going to place Matt’s name on a gold plaque in the club house.
He’d have loved that.
Losing my best friend has taught me to be grateful for my life.
I have a beautiful girlfriend, a wonderful family, great friends and a job I love.
Us blokes need to be comfortable in our own skin, and we need to speak about our problems.
If we can do those two things, then we’re winning.
If you, or anyone you know, is struggling, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 (Aust) or 0800 543 354 (NZ).
