Courageous Deanne Bridgland shares her painful story to help other Australian women break free from domestic violence.
When Deanne first met Nick Pasinis at a Melbourne pub in 2006, she was on a break from work to further her studies – moving into criminology following a double degree in psychology and sociology. She came from a good family in WA, didn’t drink alcohol, and valued her career.
Deanne found the professional fishing angler charming and intelligent. They began dating.
“He had a presence and he made you feel like you were the only person in the room,” she explains.
Within a year, her life was turned upside-down. Barely surviving each day, Deanne was gagged and held prisoner in Pasinis’s garage, beaten senseless and tormented with details of how he was going to harm her next time.
“Not a day went by without bruises,” says Deanne. “He’d tell me what to eat and when. I was down to 38kg, being starved some days and force-fed others.”
Hospital staff often called police when Deanne was admitted with injuries, including broken arms. “I fell down drunk,” she’d say.
With Deanne too scared to press the assault charges, Pasinis only served five months for drugs found in his possession when police arrested him, and was out of jail in late 2007. Within weeks, he and Deanne were back to where they started.
“When you’re isolated like that, it’s more like a hostage situation,” she explains. “It sounds crazy but I relied on him.
“I wasn’t allowed to watch TV or even read Target brochures. I’d lost contact with my friends because I didn’t want to get them involved. My family was all in another state and I didn’t want him knowing where.”
Deanne’s injuries were an obstacle to her moving on, but thanks to Dr Madeline Sinclair and the team at Smile Solutions, (who annually donate $100,000 of dental services to the homeless through the Salvation Army) Deanne finally had something to smile about!
Finally, one year after Pasinis was released at the end of 2007, Deanne’s sister came to stay and she felt able to leave her tormentor for good. “Having someone there helped,” she says.
“It wasn’t easy, and he kept trying, but eventually he gave up.”
In early 2010, she gathered the courage to officially report Pasinis for his reign of terror.
“He ruined my life and I couldn’t let him get away with it,” she says. “I still didn’t feel safe knowing he was out there and I worried he’d do it to someone else.”
Pasinis pleaded guilty to two counts of intentionally causing serious injury and was sentenced to eight years.
Psychologists said it was the worst case of domestic violence they’d seen and even considered seeking advice from torture experts.
Deanne says “I urge anyone in this sort of situation to be brave because the abuser will never change.”
Read the full story of Deanne’s path to freedom from domestic abuse only in Woman’s Day, on sale 24th November.
If you or someone you know is affected by domestic violence, call the 24/7 helpline today: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)
You can support the International Day of the Elimination of Violence Against Women (aka White Ribbon Day) on Tuesday, November 25. White Ribbon is Australia’s male-led campaign to end men’s violence against women. On average, one woman is killed every week as a result of intimate partner violence. The campaign raises awareness and runs programs with youth, schools, workplaces and local communities. Visit whiteribbon.org.au
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