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Alex McKinnon reveals: I didn’t want to be alive

Paralysed former NRL player Alex McKinnon has spoken of his despair after breaking his neck during a match last year.
Former NRL player Alex McKinnon

In an emotional interview former NRL player Alex McKinnon, who was paralysed after breaking his neck during a match last year, has revealed he faced very dark moments during recovery.

Speaking to 60 Minutes, the former Newcastle Knights forward told of his despair after that match with Melbourne Storm in March last year.

“I didn’t want to be alive, I honestly didn’t,” he told the program.

“I had so many thoughts going through my head… I wanted to die, I just didn’t want to be alive.”

McKinnon’s mother Kate gave a tearful interview during the program revealing she told her son to fight the negative thoughts.

“I thought I’d never ever, ever hear my son say that,” she said.

“I said, ‘You can’t leave me, you can’t leave me darling, I can’t live without you – you’re my life.’

“I said, ‘You’ve got a good brain, a beautiful heart, a beautiful soul (and) that’s why people love you — not because you play football.”

Remembering the moment on the field, McKinnon, 23 said he heard “a click — and everything just stopped”.

He said he did not blame Jordan McLean for the tackle, but he was disgusted that skipper Cameron Smith stood arguing over a penalty while McKinnon was lying on the ground in desperate need of help.

His story once again shines a light on the violence of the sport, but McKinnon says although he has had a hard road to recovery he still supports NRL.

When asked if he would let his kids play rugby league his response was swift.

“Of course they’ll play football! They can do what they want to do.”

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