My daughter Amanda, 35, brought two cups of coffee over and sat next to me at the table.
“Thanks, love,” I mumbled.
“Something on your mind, Mum?” she asked.
“I’ve been single for 13 years today,” I said, reflecting.
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Amanda reached for my hand and squeezed it.
“I’m so proud of you for having the courage to leave Dad,” she said.
It had been a miserable marriage, where I’d been subject to brutal beatings and raped by my husband.
Finally, after 33 years, enough was enough and I went to the police.
He was sentenced to 17 years in jail, but ever since, my self-esteem had been in tatters. I’d been terrified of men and entering a new relationship.
Deep down, I really wanted someone loving to share my life with, though.
One day, I opened up to a girlfriend.
“I haven’t been with anyone sexually for 13 years,” I admitted.
“You should try an escort service,” she said.
She explained that after separating from her husband, she’d had several lovely dates with a male escort.
“It really helped my confidence,” she said.
I was intrigued.
“Maybe,” I said. “But it would be hard to fit it in with work and the kids.”
I had three beautiful daughters and seven grandchildren, and I also ran my business, We Care Professional Support, which offers round-the-clock care to those in palliative care and individuals with disabilities.
It had been nominated for 10 awards in the past two years, and recently I’d been invited to another fancy ceremony, this one in Sydney.
“It’s a bit embarrassing sitting on my own at these things when everyone else is with their partner,” I confessed to Amanda.
It got me thinking about the conversation I’d had with my friend.
What if I could pay someone to accompany me?
Sitting on the couch that night, I went online to the escort site my friend had suggested. It was expensive, but I had some money saved.
Flicking through the different escorts, Christian’s kind eyes got my attention.
Aged 30, he was 22 years younger than me, and gorgeous.
Offering a ‘boyfriend experience’, he promised four hours of love and companionship for $1000.
Four hours of romance? I didn’t think I’d ever experienced that.
I can’t believe I’m really doing this! I thought, pressing the ‘confirm’ button.
Christian and I talked for weeks before the event to make sure I was comfortable.
One evening, he sent me a photo in his suit.
What do you think of this bow tie, will it match your dress? he’d written.
I nearly fainted!
Amanda and I are so close I decided to tell my daughter about my plan.
“I’m not going to go to the event in Sydney alone after all…” I began. “I decided to book an escort!”
When I showed Amanda Christian’s photo, she burst out laughing.
“Oh my gosh, Mum! How old is he?” she giggled.
“Don’t worry, we’re not dating, it’s just a contract,” I reassured her. “I’m so excited, I bought a new dress and I’ve been working out. I already feel so much more confident.”
“I’m proud of you, Mama Bear,” she smiled. “I think this could be really good for you.”
But later, the nerves set in and I texted Christian.
I’m feeling really scared, my ex was abusive and I’m afraid to be alone with men, I admitted.
Can I call you? he replied.
He spent hours on the phone listening and reassuring me I’d be safe.
By the time I boarded the flight from Brisbane to Sydney three weeks later, all I felt was excitement.
Christian was at the hotel to meet me.
“Welcome to Sydney,” he said, hugging me and taking my bags.
Treating me like a princess from the minute I arrived, he escorted me to my room to get ready.
And when my sequinned dress was too big from all the exercise I’d been doing, Christian found a sewing kit and took it in.
“How did you learn how to treat a woman so well?” I asked, choked up.
“I learned from all the wonderful women in my life,” he admitted.
Christian was the perfect gentleman all night. He opened doors, pulled out seats for me, held my hand, and was a beautiful dinner companion with dazzling conversation.
I’m shy, but he effortlessly brought me into the conversation with other people at our table.
When I was announced runner-up, I didn’t mind.
“You’re already a winner,” Christian said. And I felt it, for the huge steps I’d taken to be here.
Back at the hotel, he walked me to my room.
“Can you undo my zipper?” I asked nervously.
“Of course,” he said, following me in.
We flirted and laughed together, but I wasn’t ready for it to go any further.
“You’ve restored my faith in men,” I told him.
“I’m sorry anyone ever treated you the way you’ve been treated,” he said, pulling me in for a hug with tears in his eyes.
Christian was with me for more than double the time I paid for, plus weeks of calling and texting, and he wouldn’t accept an extra cent.
“How was it?” Amanda asked eagerly when I got home.
“It helped me realise the problem was never me,” I said. “Christian showed me how a woman should be treated.”
The experience proved there are good men out there and my past experiences don’t dictate my worth. I want other women to know this too.
I’m now open to dating. I won’t be rushing to use the apps, but I’d like to meet someone organically.
I’ve already texted Christian for my next awards night in Sydney in April.
I know the option is there if I’d like to take it further and be intimate.
I don’t know how it will go, but I know I’ll feel safe and respected whatever happens.
