When someone posed the query “What advice would a 70 or 80 year old person give about the way the life should be lived?” on public question site Quora the answers were insightful, and in some cases heart-warming.
With suggestions of living your own life for you, taking a long term approach by not just living for today, and being bold and courageous because when you look back at life you regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did, the responses provide some inspiration for living a more fulfilling existence.
The most popular response with over 23,300 views was from Dan Maloney, a 70+ year old man who shared his best piece of advice which was a simple sounding –
Act happy.
“I thought in many parts of my life I was inadequate, selfish or had other negatives overwhelming me,” he said in his post, but a passing remark one day about how “lucky” he was got him thinking.
“I realized I have been lucky in my life, not in the lottery-winning, discovered by a producer sort of way, but in the way of things working out well in the end.
“And I got to thinking why this had been; I certainly did not feel lucky much of the time, even when things were going pretty well.”
But then it dawned on him that happy people draw good luck to themselves.
He went on to suggest that you are more memorable, so if an opportunity arises people think of you, and people want to be around you if you have a sunny disposition.
But what if the very deed of acting happy actually brought you true happiness? Behavioural scientist and anthropologist Dr Stephen Juan believes faking happiness really can make happiness.
“People who have experienced life know that if you act happy you sometimes fool yourself into being happy, even if you aren’t,” he says. “It is the power of suggestion. The power of positive thinking.”
So pretend happiness perpetuates real happiness, and real happiness is like a flame to a moth and draws people into your light.
“The most depressed people are the most socially isolated people,” tells Dr Juan. “Put on a happy face and you become a social magnet.”
By putting on a happy face, or at the very least, not frowning, you may actually increase feelings of happiness. Past studies have shown that forcing smiles can improve your mood, but researchers have also discovered that disabling the ability to frown can lift your spirits.
Scientists injected Botox into the frown regions of a group of depressed people to disable the facial muscles and retard the ability to put on their cranky face, and the results showed that no frown face equals happier frame of mind… although looking ten years younger may also alleviate depression.
Not everyone with the blues will have access to, or the inclination for, Botox, so let’s just get back to basics.
Smile.
“Our brains don’t know the difference between real and pretend. So you can stand in front of your mirror at home, and tell yourself that you’re doing OK and that everything is going to be alright, and the brain believes you,” says Sydney-based psychotherapist and Imago couples counsellor Annie Gurton.
“You can fake a smile and all the muscles in your face go into action, and the brain believes that you are smiling for real. It starts to generate ‘feel good’ chemicals. Before you know it, you begin to feel better.
“That’s why starting the day with an affirmation and ending with an appreciation can help to make your world seem a better place even though you might be going through a difficult time. Thinking positive leads to more positive.”
As the old song, “Put on a Happy Face” from the Broadway musical “Bye Bye Birdie”, goes:
“So spread sunshine all over the place and put on a happy, happy face.”
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