Over the Christmas holidays my 18-year-old daughter, Claire, brought her boyfriend home to meet her father and I for the first time.
She’d already told us that she’d been dating him since early November, and that he’s 50 years old working in a local chip shop. She also revealed he’s unmarried, has no kids, lives in a council house and is a non-practising Christian.
Based on this information we knew straight away that these two were not together for ‘the money’, given his job and where he lives.
Claire said she liked him because he was gentle, funny and they had similar tastes in music; she also found his car pretty cool – it not quite a rustbucket but it was pretty close.
The meal went OK – even pleasant. We didn’t act judgmental, but still I couldn’t stop thinking about the age gap. He’s 33 years older than her and four years older than her dad!
Later, Claire told us this man is her soulmate. She wants to marry him in two years when she graduates from university, and she wants to have his kids despite what anyone else thinks – including her parents.
I thought things might change when she found out my husband liked him but even that doesn’t put Claire off. If anything it’s seemed to make her like her boyfriend more!
I know she hasn’t really considered the reality of an age-gap relationship.
Our daughter has career ambitions. She wants to work in business at a managerial level or a job organising conferences or writing about management for business journalism. No one can say she’s not a woman who knows what she wants.
She keeps reiterating she’s in it for the long haul – and if she ends up with him and as a mum on Centrelink after she graduates, then so what?
How do I handle this sensitively? I only want the best for my daughter.
The following story posted on Reddit and lightly edited for readability.
