It struck again yesterday. It happens every few months. I feel good, I feel normal, life is going along just fine, and then suddenly… BAM. It hits me, out of the blue.
The urge to buy a new handbag.
It is a need. It is a force. It cannot be ignored, or even delayed. When it strikes, it must be obeyed. I need to see the compulsion through.
I have quite a few handbags, and I’ve discarded many more. I am a serial monobaggist. I will fall in love with a bag for a while, and use it every day, and think it is my perfect match. It will be the right colour and weight and size, it will have the ideal number of pockets, and it will go with all my outfits and make me feel happy and complete and whole.
Until suddenly, one day, it inexplicably doesn’t, and I need to replace it this instant.
Strangely, I’m not like this with other accessories or clothes – I will buy what I need, and often wear things till they fall apart. But bags are different. Bags are my thing.
Sometimes, I simply fall in love with a new bag, and realise it is far superior to the one I’m using now. At other times, I go to bed radiantly happy with my bag, and wake up realising it’s wrong and awful in every single way.
The bag itself hasn’t changed. It’s been loyal and served me well. It is me. I can’t commit. I have to let it go to make room for the new.
I know I’m not the only one with this issue. I have friends who buy shoes, or makeup, or even stationery supplies, every few weeks. One of my friends is obsessed with bowls, and constantly adds to her collection.
Another has at least thirty pairs of black boots, and yet still regularly scouts for better pairs.
So what is it about, this fixation with the new? Is it a harmless way to bring some pleasure into our lives, or a mild form of addiction that could get out of control?
Well, both, really. As humans we are genetically programmed to seek novelty. The mid region of our brain responds to novel stimuli by producing dopamine, the ‘feel-good’ chemical. Being exposed to new things or experiences – going overseas, for example, or browsing through bags in a store – gives us a high.
And there’s nothing wrong with this, if it is kept under control. But if we continue to seek new things or experiences, we become desensitised to the high, and our brains demand more and more dopamine to feel good.
And this can lead to compulsive shopping or drug taking or gambling or sex addiction, just to recapture the rush of that dopamine fix.
Most of us, however, are pretty safe. I know that I can enjoy my bag high every few months without ever losing control and grabbing every tote or clutch in sight.
And besides, my latest handbag is absolutely spectacular. It is the right colour, weight and size, and has the ideal number of pockets. Maybe I finally have found my perfect match after all.
