Flexing torsos, quivering thighs, close ups of crotches. They all belong to the world of womenโs tennis, the stars of this yearโs Aussie Open. Not quite sure whose pink skirt that is briefly covering the flesh, because we donโt get to see their heads. Actually we also donโt get to see the blinding shot they played either. Iโm talking about the hilarious headless tennis promos that have been broadcast between the tennis action on Channel Sevenโs coverage over the last couple of days.
When itโs the men in view we get full length action shots. Excellent. When itโs the women just a snapshot of a body part โ usually the crotch, stomach or chest. Yikes.
It was nail-biting watching Bernard Tomic last night. But the promos in-between the points?
We saw the beautiful full length curve of Lleyton Hewitt, his racket way behind his head, his feet leaping off the line to serve. Then we cut to a headless close-up of Samantha Stosurโs torso, her taut stomach rippling, her skirt revealing the top of her thighs, presumably as she was reaching for a shot; but who would know, we couldnโt see her face or even her racket head. In another cutaway Sharapovaโs crotch and thighs provided far too many seconds of close-up camera work.
Come on Channel Seven, give us a break. Women tennis stars have heads, and believe me, Iโm really here, adding to your late-night ratings, to watch some great tennis. Not sure what the promo maker is here for, but can I respectfully request that he shifts his focus.

Wouldnโt it be nice to see the determination on Stosurโs face occasionally? Pics: Getty.

The world number 7, Eugenie Bouchard smiled awkwardly when asked to โtwirlโ by a commentator.
And it isnโt just the promo guy whoโs serving up a โladiesโ world of tennis year this year.
I missed the moment when the Seven commentator asked Eugenie Bouchard to give him โa twirlโ in her post match interview. Evidently the most searching question he had to ask involved a tweet Bouchard had made about Serena Williamsโ outfit. Never mind that she had just beaten Kiki Bertens in a text book 6-0, 6-3 execution. Bouchardโs talent to look great in pink lycra was far more fascinating.
Are you listening Channel Seven?