The internet is a fantastic placefor gauging the opinions of strangers to help influence major life decisions, especially when it comes to all those pesky issues you’re too embarrassed to talk to your friends and family about.
Like this woman, who took to online forum Quora and asked the question:
“My boyfriend claims he accidentally penetrated my roommate while sleeping, thinking it was me. How can I know if he’s telling the truth?”
Ah yes, that old chestnut.
The original question was so popular that the anonymous poster followed up with a second post which contained more information about the situation.
Addressing the most asked question on the Quora thread Anonymous confirms that yes, her boyfriend does penetrate her while she’s sleeping.
“No, it’s not forced, I like it,” she explains.
“It’s an agreed upon thing. Many couples I know also do some wake me up with sex thing. It’s not totally weird.”
She also confirms that her boyfriend was drunk at the time the incident took place (kind of).
“Yes, to be clear she was sleeping and he was kind of drunk. Not out of mind type of drunk though ( according to him)”.
Her roommate also happens to look identical to her and was sleeping on her bed.
“My roomie was on my bed, because of idk what, some bs I haven’t asked her about yet. She is identical to me physically. Height, weight and hair.”
And apparently, this is how it all went down.
“He told me first, and said there was no resistance. He realised something was not right after about 3–4 mins.”
“Jumped off, said sorry and walked out. He sent her messages later trying to explain what happened. She is being the silent type. ( She woke up and was conscious when he said sorry).”
Though she acknowledges this story is only the word of her boyfriend and she has not as yet reached a conclusion of her own on how to proceed.
“My roommate is also a really close friend of mine. On the other hand, I’ve been in this relationship for four years.”
“I’m 23 and he’s the only real bf I’ve had in my life ( he’s 27). Please give suggestions keeping that in mind.”
All jokes and allusions to Jerry Springer aside, the question does raise some excellent points about trust and forgiveness in a relationship.
Nikki Primrose, a counselor and registered nurse in the US suggested her boyfriend could suffer from Sexsomnia.
“Sexsomnia is a real and potentially terrifying condition”, she explains.
“As someone who suffers from it could involve anyone laying near them in their unconscious sexual activities. There are several cases where sexsomnia, or sleep sex, has been used as a defense to allegations of sex assault.”
“Sexsomnia is rare, and engaging in full intercourse without waking is even more unusual. Claiming that you were asleep is obviously a very convenient excuse if you are accused of assault or cheating, so I would be skeptical of your boyfriend’s claim.”
The kind of drunk element of this story certainly doesn’t do him any favours if this was an excuse he really wanted to use.
Should this woman forgive her boyfriend?
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