1. The ‘Coal-phobia’ speech
Coal. Oh lordy, the COAL. In the most literal joke of all time, Treasurer Scott Morrison brought a real-life lump of coal before the House of Reps to make a funny.
“This is coal!” Morrison proclaimed. “Don’t be afraid! Don’t be scared! It won’t hurt you! It’s coal! It was dug up by men and women who work and live in the electorates of those who sit opposite.”
“There is no word for coal-phobia officially, Mr Speaker, but it is that malady that affects those opposite. It is that malady Mr Speaker that is affecting the jobs in the towns and the industries and, indeed, in this country, because of their pathological, ideological opposition to coal being an important part of our sustainable and more certain energy future.”
The treasurer then passed his cool prop to party members and weirdly, they began passing it around.
You can watch below.
2. Malcolm Turnbull lost his temper. Big time
Malcolm Turnbull was a man on the edge after Opposition Leader Bill Shorten called him “Mr Harbour-side Mansion” one too many times. He lost his temper in a glorious way, unleashing unprecedented amounts of sass at Shorten, calling him a “parasite”.
“There was never a union leader in Melbourne that tucked his knees under more billionaires’ tables than the Leader of the Opposition — he lapped it up,” Mr Turnbull said.
“He was such a sycophant, a social-climbing sycophant if ever there was one. He likes harbourside mansions, he is yearning for one, he is yearning to get into Kirribilli House – because somebody else pays for it,” he said.
Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce went wild for it:
Turnbull concluded: “Just like he loved knocking back Dick Pratt’s Cristal and looked forward to living at the expense of the taxpayer, this man is a parasite and has no respect for the taxpayer.”
You can watch below.
3. Turnbull scrapped the controversial Life Gold Pass
This is included in the crazy list because it took so long to be addressed…
Malcolm Turnbull scrapped a notorious parliamentary perk that gives retired politicians free business-class travel on the taxpayer.
A new Independent Parliamentary Expenses Authority (IPEA) was also introduced in the wake of the growing expenses scandal.
And it’s about time. Check out 8 of the most ridiculous things Australian politicians have charged the taxpayer for in recent years.
4. Cory Bernardi sensationally jumped ship and started new party, the Australian Conservatives
Cory Bernardi announced he’d split from the Liberals, and is now the leader of new party, the Australian Conservatives. Many believe he hopes to inspire a Trump-esque movement.
Turnbull called on Bernardi to resign, saying he has broken faith with the people of South Australia.
“The Liberal Party of South Australia and the people of South Australia only seven months ago elected him to the Senate for a six-year term as a Liberal Senator,” Turnbull said. “So the honourable thing for Cory to do is to resign from the Senate and then run again at the next election as an independent or under his new party.”
5. A massive sinkhole appeared outside Turnbull’s mansion and his neighbour gave the most Point Piper interview EVER
Yeah, ok, this happened in Sydney. But it’s definitely worth a laugh.
A sinkhole appeared in Wentworth St, Point Piper, around the corner from Malcolm Turnbull’s multimillion-dollar mansion. Neighbour Kristy Mirzikinian gave an interview about the giant hole and it’s probably the most Point Piper thing that’s ever happened.
“My personal trainer’s come, my electricity is off, and now I don’t know what to do!” Mirzikinian said.
The clip has since gone viral.
