By Glenda Kwek
Your best friend met her latest squeeze through an internet dating website, and another has just got married to a bloke she met at a book club. You’re itching for a partner, but don’t like anything to do with a computer and are not a book worm. So why not try speed dating?
It sounds like an echo from the past, something that has been relegated to dusty corners of dingy pubs, but speed dating is alive and thriving — even in the age of digital rendezvous, says Frank Granziera, events coordinator for Blink Dating, an Australia-wide speed dating service.
“We get regular numbers, with new people turning up at every event. We’ve increased our events (throughout Australia) from 12, to 14 to 15 a month,” says Granziera.
Speed dating is exactly what it means — you meet a guy for a few minutes, chat to him, the bell rings, and another guy takes his place. After one and a half hours, you have met a new bunch of men, and who knows, maybe one of them might become your next boyfriend, or even long-term partner or husband. In an age where, according to the statistics, there are about 100,000 more females than males in Australia, getting to meet 15 single men in a short space of time might be a good thing.
Blink Dating events attract about 12 to 14 couples a month, a steady number that has not been impacted by online dating portals. Participants get to choose from different events with a variety of age categories to choose from. There’s usually a higher proportion of women than men taking part, but everyone’s equally keen once they are at the event, says Granziera.
“A typical person attending would be hard-working, with very few hours for leisure. He or she doesn’t want to muck around, and wants to get down to the nitty-gritty without the preamble.”
Granziera says there have been numerous success stories, with former participants asking for their names to be removed off the database after meeting partners from speed dating. “I’ve heard of a number of people (former participants) living together,” he says.
But speed dating is not an exact science, and even when people are slotted into specific age groups, the matching, or mating service, however you would like to call it, can be hit and miss.
I visited one session with three other single female friends at a dark candlelit bar in Sydney’s CBD. The event was fully booked, save for one missing woman participant, and at the start of the event, the situation seemed promising.
Our host tells the women that first impressions are important, and that the male participants are usually keener than the females. Some, she says, tick every box besides a female participant’s name as a date (you have the option of ticking a participant of the opposite sex as a friend, date or not ticking at all). Women however, are more cautious about who has their contact details, she continues.
But as the event starts and the bells start ringing, it’s hard to not too feel that five minutes is just too short a time to get to know someone, or for them to know you.
“They are very nice men,” one of the female participants says to another in the restroom during a break. But she has little more to say beyond that.
Take this exchange between two of the participants:
Martial arts guy (MAG): so what kind of movies do you like?
Female participant (A): Umm, art house, movies that make you think, funny, offbeat, unexpected endings, that kind of thing.
MAG: What do you mean?
A: Movies like Momento, Adaption, Being John Malkovich…
MAG: (Blank stare)
A: Fight Club?
MAG: So you like movies about fighting.
A: Fight Club is not really about fighting…
MAG: Yes it is.
A: No its not, it’s…
MAG: Yes it is!
A: OK, let’s agree to disagree. Apart from movies, what are you into?
MAG: Martial arts.
Speed dating is, ultimately, a matching exercise that is face-to-face. You can’t close a browser window if the person chatting to you becomes annoying or boring. And sometimes, it’s hard not too look desperate or to try too much to impress. But it does allow you to see someone in the flesh, and quickly move to the next table if you tire of them in the five minutes of allocated conversation time. It’s also a group activity which you can attend with your friends if you are uncomfortable with fronting up at such an event alone.
Granziera cautions against expecting too much from any event that you attend. People shouldn’t come with the intent of finding a partner, he says, it’s about enjoying yourself.
“People come to have fun,” he says. And what’s the harm in that, especially if you happen to meet an interesting person at the same time.
You can find out more about Blink Dating at www.blinkdating.com.au
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