Women around the world have been using the hashtag #WhyIStayed to reveal their stories and the complexities involved with leaving an abusive partner.
The hashtag, which has been trending on Twitter, was created by American author Beverley Gooden following comments made by Fox News presenter, Brain Kilmeade, who said women who stay with violent men send a “terrible message” to others.
Gooden tweeted in response: “I tried to leave the house once after an abusive episode, and he blocked me. He slept in front of the door that entire night. #WhyIStayed.”
White Ribbon CEO Libby Davies told The Weekly there are many reasons women stay in abusive relationships.
“They include fear that the violence will escalate, financial dependence, social stigma, lack of self-confidence, isolation, religious and moral values, love and commitment and concern for children, family pressures and lack of community support, including affordable accommodation,” she said.
“For all of these reasons, some people decide that remaining with an abusive partner is the best choice for them at the time.”
Ms Davies also said abusers often use a range of strategies to encourage the victim’s compliance and dependence.
“Sadly victims tend to blame themselves for their partners behaviour and spend years trying to change, but nothing they do ever works because only an abusive partner can stop their behaviour,” she says. “It is not the victim’s fault it is the person who uses violence who needs to change. Most victims feel afraid, powerless and unsafe and therefore lack the confidence to leave for fear of retribution.”
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics one in three women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence perpetrated by someone known to them.
Last Friday, the Foundation to Prevent Violence Against Women and their Children launched a new national initiative called Our Watch.
The chair of the foundation, Natasha Stott Despoja, said violence against women is a “national emergency”.
“One woman is killed almost every week by a current or former partner in Australia,” she said. “Our Watch has a mandate to stop this violence before it occurs.”
