Movies like Love Actually and The Holiday will try and convince you that finding love this Christmas is a better gift than someone paying your phone bill (please, Santa? We’ve been good!), but flying solo during this time of year can actually be equally, if not potentially more enjoyable.
While the relentless “when are you getting married?” questions may surface, simply knowing how to navigate your way through Christmas lunch can help you get back to enjoying that second helping of ham, which is really what Christmas is all about.
Woman’s Day sat down with Christina Spaccavento, sex therapist, relationship specialist and counsellor, to find out everything from why people feel the need to be coupled-up at Christmas to some fail-proof comebacks for when the questions come.
Why do people actually feel the need to have a date come Christmas time?
“As humans we are social creatures and have an innate need to bond and attach to others,” she says.
“Christmas is a time where there is a focus on family and togetherness, and for many people it is a time of celebration and sharing with family and loved ones.”
“For some single people, the focus on togetherness, sharing and family celebration can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and isolation and drive them to search for a partner.”
Why is it OK to not be coupled-up at Christmas?
“It’s OK to be single, and just because it is Christmas time doesn’t mean that being single is not OK,” Christina explains.
“You may feel external pressure to be coupled up, but this is a good opportunity to allow yourself to let go and enjoy connecting with family and friends without needing to have someone by your side.”
How can I avoid family asking invasive questions about my love life?
“You may not be able to avoid getting questioned by your family but you can definitely have some statements to ready to respond effectively,’ Christina instructs.
“The key here is to divert attention away from you and towards something else. Depending on your family’s communication style, try a couple of the following:”
• “Look, I don’t want to talk about this right now” (then change the subject to something light and whimsical)
• Change the topic of conversation by asking about something interesting in the other person’s life
• Get up and offer everyone a drink or food
Below, we round up the benefits of flying solo this Christmas time:
Ease! Forget spreading yourself too thin this silly season. “You don’t need to negotiate Christmas with two sets of families and in-laws,” says Christina.
Rest! “You get plenty of time to rest and recharge your batteries.” Enjoy the food coma that will inevitably follow your excessive ham consumption, which brings us to our next point…
More for you! Eat twice the ham, twice the pudding, and, hell, drink three times the wine!
Save! With the money you’ll save on buying gifts for your S.O., you’ll finally be able to afford that spa weekend with the girls.
Party! It’s called the silly season for a reason. Enjoy going out with your friends and stealing a cheeky kiss under the mistletoe.
