Australians need to be pickier if they want to find true love, a dating guru has warned.
They need to decide what they want, what their deal breakers are and be less random and reliant on chance when it comes to finding a partner, says John Aiken, the best-selling relationship adviser to a top online dating service.
“Single people in Australia are out there, trying to meet someone but don’t know what they want,” he told The Weekly. “Meeting people randomly or by chance means they don’t get an insight into whether or not another person would be their ideal partner and so they are having negative dating experiences.
“People need to get selective, rather than being shotgun. Think ‘what is it that I want?’ Decide what your deal breakers are. Is your deal breaker smoking, having kids, where they live?”
While John says Australian women are not fussy enough, other relationship experts, including matchmaker Yvonne Allen, have warned they are too fussy.
She told The Weekly she believes that modern women demand perfection when they are not perfect themselves.
Yvonne thinks that women need to avoid having specific dating “shopping lists”, and keep their deal-breakers to a minimum as they might miss out on a great man because he fails to meet their criteria.
John’s view, however, is that women need to think carefully about what they want from a relationship to avoid repeating mistakes from their past. He believes that once a woman has a clear idea of what she wants from a partner, she will have greater success finding it.
“When people look back over their dating pasts they can see various negative patterns that keep coming across” he says.
As a relationship psychologist and the new resident dating expert at RSVP, a dating website used by over 1.8 million Australians, John believes these negative dating patterns can be broken online.
John’s seven tips for successful online dating
Be clear about whether you want a casual, fun and flirty or a serious long-term relationship
Use a great, recent and realistic photo of yourself
Make your profile stand out from the crowd
Be selective and choosy
Be honest about yourself and what you want
Keep safe at all times. Don’t give out personal information like home phone numbers, addresses or credit card details. Make sure you talk to your date on the phone before meeting them in a public place
Be patient and don’t give up. Dating is a numbers game. It is all about elimination not rejection.
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