This whole “revertigo” thing – does it even exist? Well, if you think about what psychologist Clare Mann has told us in the past, naughty behaviour can, in fact, make us revert to childhood stereotypes when we get together with our families over the holidays.
So, for example, the younger brother becomes a serial pest who teases everyone; the little sister inhabits her role of being a serial whiner and perennial victim; and the big sister goes back to her bossy-boots teenage self.
That’s called “revertigo”. Hmmpff! Never heard of it and I doubt it’s true.
Phillip, Helen and I had an argument about this last week when we were sitting around the table playing Monopoly like we did when we were kids. He, of course, was the banker – and cheated like he’s always done for-ev-er and I told him: “Stop it right now! Or you’re really going to get into trouble, Phillip.”
He just laughed and said: “Go on then – prove I cheated! You’re just both really hopeless at Monopoly and that’s why I always win. Ha-ha!”
Then Helen just had to jump in and say: “Everyone’s always picking on me! Sob!”
It took all of my patience not to pack up the game and tell them to go to bed.
I mean, really! Why doesn’t anyone around here ever listen to me?
So, I patiently explained, “Look, we’re not even arguing about the game! Anyway, you’ve never been able to play it correctly, this rulebook says. We’re talking about the idea that family members revert to their old habits and roles when they get together and that causes fights and…”
“You’re the one who starts all the fights,” Phillip countered.
“You’re not the boss of me!”
“Both of you are always telling me what to do,” said Helen, “and anyway, I didn’t even want to play this stupid game. I wanted to play tether tennis.”
“Tether tennis?” Phillip and I shouted at her. “That’s for babies. You’re 57, for goodness sake!”
That’s when Helen ran from the table and locked herself in the bathroom.
I followed her and said, “You better come out of there right this minute, missy! Or you’ll be in big trouble, too. ”
I banged on the door and waited a bit. Then heard a bloodcurdling scream!
The door was flung open, Helen bolted out, tearing at her hair. Then I saw the huge black rubber spider Phillip had chucked through the window.
I heard him laugh. Infuriating!
“It’s hard to believe,” I boomed, “that three adults can’t have an intelligent discussion on psychological theory. Grow up!”
Silence.
In the end I said, very calmly, “Until both of you are ready to behave, I’ll be in my room listening to my Monkees records and talking to my pet rock.”
So “revertigo”, eh? What a load of nonsense.
Catch Wendy on ABC Sydney’s Mornings with Wendy Harmer on Fridays from 8:30-11am, or follow her on Twitter @wendy_harmer.
