Has it been weeks since your partner saw you in anything other than your warmest winter woollies? Anna Warwick asks dating expert Della Cory for her tips for spicing up a wintery romance.
Date night:
An oldie but a goodie. It’s tempting to flop on the couch and go to bed early, but if you make the effort to have one night out together a week — without the children — the quality time you spend will pay off tenfold.
It is very important to find activities that you both feel passionate about — be it a burlesque night or an adrenaline adventure. Your friends and family don’t have to approve. Only the two of you need to be involved!
Be creative when choosing things to do. We’ve all been in the situation where we’ve gone to a lot of trouble to organise something, only to find out that it’s not the other person’s idea of amusement. When you are both involved in the inception of an idea, rockets of desire are ignited.
Thoroughly entertained:
Some couples prefer to let others entertain them while they just relax and enjoy it together. Artistic entertainment like shows, concerts, dining out, visiting galleries and art shows — even watching a great movie in the cinema — can nourish the soul, lift the spirit and take you out of your winter humdrum.
Adrenaline rush:
Shared physical activities will really get the blood pumping and make you feel younger. You could join a fitness program, a dancing class, a yoga course or a sport’s team.
Dancing is particularly good because it allows the man and woman to woo and flirt with each other. Pick something where you can express your feelings and be creative with each other — even chasing each other around the house and wrestling can be a fun release.
Cosmic love:
Tantric lovemaking can transform a relationship. Tantra (meaning “woven together” or “connecting with inner self”) relates to the Hindu philosophy that encompasses all levels of perception including spirituality, science, biology, anatomy, meditation, medicine, art, music, nutrition and sexuality.
Tantric lovemaking is the culmination — weaving the tantric practices together into a luscious tapestry. It is a time for two lovers to absorb themselves in each other and let go of the outside world.
Holiday romance:
Once you have mastered the Tantric lovemaking you will need an opportunity to practise!
Holiday at home:
You don’t need to spend money or fly abroad to have a wonderful vacation. Pick a weekend and send the kids to a friends’ house (you can offer to return the favour) and have a romantic holiday at home. Stay in, turn the heaters up, get your bikinis and boardshorts out. Order in, hire a movie, have a candlelit bath with fragrant oils. Order in a masseuse or better still, give each other a hot oil massage.
Weekend away:
Invest in a romantic weekend at a nice retreat with a fireplace and a hot tub; or go somewhere warm such as Hamilton Island or Cairns. Fly out on a Friday and come back on Sunday.
Away from it all:
If you have the time and resources, plan a longer trip together. Travelling takes your mind away from your everyday patterns and roles. You’ll get to break through to deeper conversations, or just enjoy each other’s company and not talk. You may wish to have a physically exhilarating adventure or travel with a lot of cultural sight-seeing; or more of a relaxing getaway like cruising or staying in a resort — where all your meals and activities are included. A proper holiday is rejuvenating and creates lifelong memories.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder:
It may be helpful to take a holiday apart. When you are away from each other you realise how much you appreciate and miss your partner, and when you are reunited you’ll be very excited to see each other. It never hurts to play a little bit hard to get.
Element of surprise:
Do something spontaneous that your partner doesn’t expect you to do. Maybe there’s a romantic gesture — something out of character — that you know will knock your partner’s socks off. Arrive at their workplace on Friday with bags packed and tickets for a weekend escape. Bring black tie outfits on a casual date night and ask your partner to get changed for an elegant evening at the opera or a charity ball. The sky is the limit.
Your say: How do you keep your sex life hot and steamy in the colder months? Tell us at [email protected]
