**Whether you’re a mother of three or the CEO of a corporation, the skills of effective negotiation and assertiveness will get you a long way in this world!
** And no matter who or where you’re ‘debating’, you can stand up for yourself and make your opinion heard, without being rude or aggressive.
“You have to give to get – that’s probably the golden rule of negotiation,” explains Tracey Hodgkins, a personal and professional development expert, and the owner and CEO of the Australian Experiential Learning Centre (AELC).
“The art of negotiating is a test of your ability to hold two opposing ideas at the same time, and finding an outcome that’s acceptable to both.
“Plan in advance what you want; understand the other’s perspective and do your best to look for a win-win solution for everyone.”
Tracey stresses the importance of keeping emotions out of any effective negotiation – whether it be for a pay rise; or complaining to a shop assistant.
“As soon as emotions come into it, rational thinking goes out the window,” she says. “For example – divorces often end up in court, because everyone’s emotions are getting in the way and neither part can see what’s fair and reasonable anymore.
“It should always be a matter of being fair, reasonable and objective.”
The art of saying ‘no’.
“Some people simply don’t know how to say ‘no’,” says Tracey. “But the only ‘trick’ is you just have to say ‘no’ and not give a reason.
“ ‘No’ doesn’t require an explanation and as soon as you do offer up a reason, people find a way to pick it apart. Now I know how to do it, it’s great … I do it all the time!”
Here Tracey gives more of her expert advice for dealing with some common scenarios:
Negotiating a pay rise.
Understand exactly what it is you’re asking for and the right time to ask. Know what your own realistic worth is, for example by researching what other organisations pay. Be able to state your value to the company; and what you do over and above what’s required.
Importantly, know if and when you’ll be prepared to back down.
Buying a house at auction.
Research; research and research! Don’t go near an auction until you know what it’s really worth. Do your homework regarding the building and its construction. Make sure you have a price point and do not go past that.
Know what you’re prepared to pay, and when it’s time to walk away.
Complaining about customer service.
Be fair and objective. List your complaints and be prepared to put them in writing to the person in charge. The person who actually owns the store will be grateful for such feedback.
Disputes with loved ones.
We want to give our loved ones everything and sometimes it’s really hard to get them to take into account your needs.
Whatever the dispute or ‘discussion’ is, try to keep emotional blackmail out of it and be objective the whole way through.
Really listen to what they’re saying and you’ll get clues to help you deal with that person. Let them have their say, then re-iterate: ‘what is the issue? Let’s look at this objectively.’ And aim to find possible compromises.
“But if the other person remains unreasonable and immovable, you’ve got to walk away. Don’t give away any ground or power to someone who just won’t play ball or meet you even half way.”
- To learn more about assertiveness and negotiation, look into doing a course. To read about the AELC, their website is: www.aelc.edu.au
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