When you get a cat, your definition of sanity changes. As the days roll on you start to morph into that crazy cat lady stereotype, with pet parenting quirks just as bizarre as the things your fur baby does. Here’s 23 you can no doubt relate to doing every single week (don’t deny it, you do).
1. Calling your cat so they’ll come into the room, just so you can tell them how cute they are.
2. Starting a play fight just because you’re bored, then being surprised when your cat runs off because they’ve had enough of being bullied.
3. Referring to yourself as “Mum” even though you know damn well you never gave birth to a 3kg+ cat.
4. Telling them it’s bedtime even though you know they’re going to stay up and ‘redecorate’ the house.
5. Asking them where they’ve been when they suddenly appear out of hiding, as if they’re going to give you a detailed account of their adventures.
6. Not sitting in a particular chair because your cat is already seated there and looks so comfortable.
7. Secretly rooting for one of your cats when they start play fighting.
8. Speaking to them in a voice that is only reserved for them, babies don’t even get this level of affection.
9. That voice become increasingly more unrecognisable from your own when you notice how cute they are and the cuddles become more and more intense.
10. Giving them a ridiculous nickname then wondering why they don’t respond when you use it.
11. Answering their meows in English or, if you’re really feeling the love, imitating their meow and embarking on an entire meow conversation.
12. Adjusting your normal sleeping position to accommodate for your cat who is already asleep on the bed – wouldn’t want to trouble them.
13. Kissing their face even though you just saw them licking their butt fur.
14. Showing your cat themselves in the mirror and asking “Who’s that?! That’s you!” as they struggle to escape your forced cuddles.
15. Buying them food from the deli section that’s more expensive (and delicious) than your own.
16. Getting up in the middle of the night to find your cat in the dark on their own and asking them what they’re doing out there all alone and if they want to follow you to bed.
17. Feeling offended whenever visitors come over and your cat chooses to cuddle up with them.
18. Taking a photo of your cat and then showing it to them just so you can watch them freak out.
19. Rummaging for something you need in the dark because your cat is asleep in the room and you wouldn’t want to disturb them by turning on the light.
20. Carrying them into the bedroom at night because you don’t want them to be lonely, only for them to immediately leap off the bed and go do important cat business.
21. Cancelling plans because you’d rather spend time with your cat.
22. Getting into staring competitions with them, and being genuinely proud of yourself when you win.
23. Informing them of your movements: “Mum’s just going out for a bit, back soon.”
