Question:
When my cat gave birth to a litter of kittens they all grew up into happy-go-lucky cats … except for one. He has always been timid and cowers and shakes when we try to get close to him. He’s a one-year-old now and still has trouble trusting us. What can we do?
Kali
Answer:
Probably the easiest way of looking at this is to realise that when it comes to individual personalities, cats are no different to people. There are the outgoing, go-anywhere types, the straight types and the introverted ones that just want to keep to themselves. Your kitten obviously fits in to the latter category.
The sad thing is that, by the sound of him, he seems anxious and withdrawn as well. The key here will be patience. You will win his trust. However, push him too far, too soon, and you risk him retreating even further from your world. Let him always feel in control. Pat him and reassure him, but the moment he looks like he wants to run away, let him.
Feeding time can be a handy ally here. Feeding is something he will see as a trust-building gesture. Giving him a few gentle pats as you feed him will help him learn to associate patting with pleasurable experiences, like eating.
A cat I knew, called Neil, was exactly like this kitten and did improve with much time and dedication. Using the cat pheromone Feliway, (available from vets) to send a calming odour-based signal also helped.
The important thing is to not feel rejected by his lack of interest in your affections. He wants to be loved, but he will just take time to understand how it is that he wants to be loved.
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