If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me “Aren’t you going to try for a boy?”, well … I may not be a rich woman, but I’d have had a fair few free lunches by now.
I’m the mother of two girls, and no, I am not going to ever try for a boy — but I may one day try for another healthy baby.
I don’t get the gender argument.
One of my friends also has two little girls and she and her husband are both desperate for a son. They plan to go on a special diet before they next try to conceive, in a hope they’ll sway the Y chromosome their way.
When said friend told me this (in earshot of her two delightful daughters) I just smiled and nodded, thinking to myself that she was freaking crazy.
Most of my friends with children have two of one gender. And most seem happy with what they’ve got: happy, strong, healthy, funny, curious, beautiful little children.
And yet, as anyone who does only have girls or boys: we get asked — all the time — if we’re happy with our lot.
Just last week, a friend of mine was asked if she’d try for another child (she has two boys). She said no, explaining two was her limit, she was done.
The other woman was a mother of three: two boys, and a girl. She exclaimed, “But it’s so worth it when you get a girl!” While my friend is good-natured enough not to get offended but seriously, what a seriously stupid and insensitive remark.
People who make comments like this need to realise they’re not only being rude, they’re diminishing the value of the children who already exist.
My friends are having babies left, right and centre these days. With pregnancies sometimes comes loss: I have many friends who have had multiple miscarriages and a few who have tragically delivered a stillborn baby.
These women long for a baby. They cry and ache for a baby. They beg the fertility gods, they inject themselves with drugs, and they lie still on a bed for months. All so they can have a baby.
One of my girlfriends spent thousands of dollars over eight long years before she finally had her babies. After all that time, she was blessed with twins. To her, two babies were more than she had ever hoped for.
Being desperate for one sex or the other also assumes that your boy or girl is going to fit into a gender stereotype neatly. It’s not that simple. Your son might love ballet, your daughter football.
I’m thrilled to have my two little girls. Just as thrilled as my friends who have two little boys. Or those friends who have one of each.
And no, I don’t want a baby boy. If I’m crazy enough try for a third baby, its sex will be irrelevant.
Your say: Are you pregnant? Do you care what sex your child is? Does your partner?
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