Weird & wacky baby products

Babies are a great invention and all, but what to do about the bald ones?

Never fear, at baby-bangs.com you can check out a range of mini mop tops (with decorative headband to hold it in place). They retail in a range of colours for around $30

The marketing geniuses behind the Baby Toupee offer a range of celebrity-inspired toupees for the discerning tot.

There’s the L’il Kim (on left) and The Donald (on right), both perfect when your kiddo needs to go undercover.

Order yours at babytoupee.com

Sales are skyrocketing for this bizarre baby suit that has mop heads (that look like cheese Twisties) attached to its arms and legs.

As your baby crawls around, it polishes the floor, collecting and dragging bits of dust, dirt and hairballs with it.

Just $40 at betterthanpants.com

The inspiration behind the betterthanpants.com Baby Mop was found in a book called *101 Unuseless Japanese Inventions.

Who would have predicted this spoof product would go on to sell so well?*

We all know that a little breeze on your baby’s bum does wonders for nappy rash. But do you know what also works well for that?

Good old-fashioned air, not the kind producd by whirring blades held near the family jewels.

Order at your own risk at infantbreeze.com.

Perfume is supposed to make you feel sexy and desirable, not take you back to being covered in paint and Play-Doh during craft time. The perfect gift for their daycare director, perhaps?

Awaken your inner child or get mobbed by a pack of toddlers in the park at demeterfragrance.com

We’ve all joked about outfitting an unsteady toddler in a helmet, but really? While you’re at it, give them kneepads and a full cottonwool suit. If you must, get your Thudguard at babysfirstheadgear.com

In theory, this is a great invention designed to keep the pee out of your eye when you are changing the little man. In reality, we all know how much kids squirm, making the chances of this cute little cone staying in place pretty slim. A ‘golden’ shower gift for a pregnant girlfriend from bebabean.com

Keeping the country crafts alive, you too can carry a reminder of your 36 hours of labour by wearing a fetching felt placenta brooch.

Or, for those who want to remind baby just where they came from, why not hang this felt uterus wall-hanging in their nursery? Visit yourorgangrinder.etsy.com

There are some things you just can’t make chic, and vomit is one of them. But that didn’t dampen the creative spirits at morningchicnessbags.com who are here to help you look stylish while you hurl in the train on the way to work. Is a pretty bag really going to make morning sickness glam?

Testing the bath water is always a good idea for bub’s safety. To pick up the Temperature Duck and read the bottom marker, you’d more than likely have to touch the water, wouldn’t you?

For those of you without elbows, head to imprintitems.com

Kick off your little one’s OCD tendencies nice and early by insisting they wear these disposable bathroom mitts, designed to protect them from all the nasties they’ll touch in a public toilet. What about washing with good old soap and water? See macandcool.com

Not content to simply eat your placenta or bury it under a tree like some do? Why not use a kit to cut, cure and sew it into a teddy bear the whole family can meet and enjoy. More info at inhabitots.com

So you’re cruising around the shopping mall with your baby in a sling when you find yourself in a bathroom with nowhere to put down the baby (it’s actually possible to pee while wearing a baby in a sling, but anyway…)

Why not carry a whole other sling that hooks over the door so you can hang up your baby out of harm’s way? mommysentials.com

The hands that rock this cradle are way to creepy for words, and not just because they aren’t connected to a body. End of story.

If you need an extra set of hands, get your Zaky Infant Pillow at pregnancystore.com

This bedazzled dummy is decorated with stick-on Swarovski crystals (warning bells, anyone?) and is so light-reflective that you and your little one will be squinting when she takes it in the sun.

So silly, they’ve actually been recalled off the market.

OK so this portable urinal is a great idea for those with aiming issues, but do you really have room for another place to pee in your already-cramped bathroom?

Apart from the slightly tarty ‘sexytime’ fabric patterns, these babykinis are cut for a Brazilian beach, not for actually fitting over a swimming nappy. Sooner or later, you’re going to hear “Uh-oh, evacuate the pool!” Still loving? See babikini.com

Recently causing outrage amongst those who see it as disgusting and unnecessary that a little girl (or boy) should mimic her mum breastfeeding with a suckling doll, the Breastmilk Baby does have a slightly weird feel to it – especially the accompanying apron with daisy nipples that the toy then latches on to.