Kids can be pretty cute, can’t they? Mispronouncing words, getting mixed up… dropping us in it…
Well, maybe they’re not quite so cute when they drop us in it. But from the evidence in a recent Mumsnet thread, it’s something they are very good at.
After Mumsnetter SweetAngels experienced a moment of excruciating embarrassment, she posted her story on the popular parenting site.
“Was shopping with my [4-year-old daughter] this morning, decided to stop by a cafe for lunch and drop her straight to nursery after – ordered food and drinks. I asked for a cappuccino with soya milk as I have a dairy intolerance.
“I am convinced that the lady used normal milk as within 30min I needed the loo badly (sorry [too much information] I know) so had to stop by the house to use the bathroom.
“We were 30min late for nursery and as we walked in one of the ladies asked [daughter] if she was OK, to which [daughter] casually replied ‘we’re only ever late when mummy has to go home for a poo’.
“I was absolutely mortified – I wanted the ground to swallow me up and I did the decent thing and asked a friend to pick her up this afternoon so I don’t have to face them!”
SweetAngels then asked other mums to spill the beans on the times their darling children had “outed them” in public.
It turns out that lots of mums could relate.
One said: “My [darling son] answered the door to the window cleaner once and said mummy was just having her afternoon poo!”
Of course poo stories are just the start of it. Our little ones have lots of different ways to embarrass us. Here are our favourite ones:
“My [10-year-old son] told a whole group of people ‘mummy had a beard once but she plucked it out!’”
“When my youngest was 2, she happily piped up to tell the cashier at Tesco, ‘Mummy’s got to buy knickers because she’s going commando!'”
“[I was ] in a cubicle quickly changing a tampon when [my son] was around and he screeched ‘mummy! Do not put that crayon up your bottom. What are you playing at?’ cue snickering from other cubicles and me hurriedly explaining it wasn’t a crayon, it was to stop me from bleeding.
“He threw me a dirty look and indignantly called out ‘well your bottom wouldn’t be bleeding if you didn’t put crayons up there!’.
But we think this one wins…
“My [five-year-old-son] told his school that daddy gave him white powder to make him stay awake all night. On hearing this, the school immediately called social services, who called the police.
“[My husband] was arrested on suspicion of supplying drugs, our house was searched and [our son] had to be interviewed on video by child protection officers.”
“What [my husband] had actually given him was a sherbet fountain and said, ‘I shouldn’t let you have that this close to bedtime; you’ll be awake half the night!’
“So that was fun.”
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