It’s unpleasant but true — kids can be nasty, and the advent of new technologies has seen schoolyard taunting go cyber and become potentially even more damaging.
Cyberbullying can take the form of abusive e-mails or SMS threats, spreading rumours online, nasty comments in Internet chat rooms or on blogs, or degrading photos (often doctored) and mobile-phone videos posted on the Internet or sent by phone or e-mail.
For the victim there may seem no escape. The abuse never switches off — it follows them home on their phone and when they go online. And unlike offensive scrawls on loo walls, cyber insults can be difficult to erase.
For 12-year-old New Zealand schoolgirl Alex Teka, the effects of cyberbullying were appalling. In 2006 the child took her own life after suffering months of relentless abusive e-mails and phone messages from a group of older girls threatening to beat her up.
Any bullying can cause its victim low self-esteem, depression, anger, and poor academic performance. Cyberbullying can be even more unsettling, as the target may not have any idea who their tormentor is.
The perceived anonymity of the Internet adds to the problem. A 2006 survey by the Child Health Promotion Research Centre at Edith Cowan University found that 59 percent of schoolkids pretend to be someone else when they’re online, and 17 percent did so “to act mean to people and get away with it”.
Because they can’t see the effect of their words, children doing the bullying have little empathy for their victim.
“Young people say that they feel they can be nastier if they are bullying this way as they don’t have to look at the person’s face,” says Erin Erceg, the co-director of the Child Health Promotion Research Centre. As one schoolkid responded in the survey, “Over the Internet … you don’t have to look into their eyes and see they’re hurt.”
Often cyberbullying is just another weapon for kids who bully face to face, but it’s also being used by the victims of bullies as a way to retaliate. And because the Internet and mobile phones are now so much a part of a kid’s social life, many children won’t tell their parents about cyberbullying for fear that this technology will be taken away from them.
The best approach for parents is to keep the lines of communication open. Let your child know that you can solve the problem together, and you won’t ‘punish’ them for being a victim by taking away their phone.
Get involved and teach kids a moral code
Know what technologies your child is using and talk to them about how they’re using them. With your child, work out rules about using these tools responsibly and get them to understand that thoughtless actions can cause harm to unseen others. It’s not a game.
Be there to help
Let your child know you’re there to help if anybody says or does something that makes them feel uncomfortable or threatened.
If your child is being bullied online:
Signs your child is being bullied online could be a reluctance to use the computer or go to school. If the bullying is from a fellow student, ask the school for help to stop the situation.
It’s a criminal offence to use a mobile phone or any form of communication to menace, harass or offend another person. Most harassing messages can be traced. Report any online harassment and physical threats to your local police and your Internet Service Provider (ISP). If the bullying is through a mobile phone, tell your phone service provider. If it’s persistent, change the phone number.
Guard your contact information
Kids should only give their mobile phone number, Instant Messaging name or e-mail address to trusted friends, and keep a note of who they have given it to.
Take a stand against cyberbullying
Kids should speak out whenever they see someone being mean to another person online.
What if they are being harassed?
They should tell an adult who can help them do something about it. Kids can block the sender’s messages if they are being bullied through e-mail or Instant Messaging. They should never reply to the messages.
They should keep a record by saving any harassing messages and recording the time and date they received them. They should also let their service provider know about the bullying.
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