When a woman falls pregnant, for some reason her body becomes public property. People think it’s their right to comment and judge. But, it needs to stop. NOW.
During my first pregnancy, I gained weight quickly and was constantly asked “how much longer do you have?”.
I was not one of those graceful pregnant women with a ‘barely there’ bump. Now, I’m 15 weeks pregnant with my second child and my abs have already disappeared, despite my healthy eating and exercising. That’s just the way my body rolls.
Earlier this month, LA-based underwear model Sarah Stage gave birth to a healthy eight-pound baby boy. She posted a photo on social media just four days after the birth, wearing underwear and looking very ‘bikini ready’.
Pre-birth, Stage had created a stir online flaunting her practically non-existent baby bump in selfies. While some fans applauded her toned belly, others claimed she was unhealthily thin and was doing damage to her unborn child.
To any pregnant woman (particularly one like me who is currently going through the “is she fat or is she pregnant?” phase!) seeing a photo of a woman like that immediately elicits thoughts of “You BITCH”.
I was jealous, yes. But I did not judge her or worry for her baby. Many did.
It’s about damn time the shaming towards pregnant women stopped. Not only is every woman’s body different, every single pregnancy is different.
I worked in the fitness industry for many years and was quite fit before falling pregnant with my first. But once that second little line on the pregnancy test appeared, I was super sick, tired and unmotivated.
All I could do was struggle through work every day (while eating copious amounts of toast or cereal). But if I’m honest, I did make excuses on occasion and some bad food choices. I quickly learned the correlation between eating crap and feeling crap.
When I started to feel better, at around 24 weeks, I managed to get some of my former healthy lifestyle back.
By 40 weeks, I had gained 15 kilograms and our baby boy was born a healthy eight-pounds.
Sarah Stage on the other hand kept up her very full fitness regime throughout her entire pregnancy and gained 12 kilograms (“just two stone!”, people said) over the nine months.
Stage’s photos received comments like “your baby will come out underweight and is likely to have seizures”, “this is disgusting”, “why would you do that to your baby?” and worse.
But her baby boy was born at a healthy weight and size – a whopping 3.9 kilos (8 pounds) and 55 centimetres – so clearly the phrase “each to her own” applies.
People throw around unsolicited advice about everything pre and post baby (not to mention the unwanted touching of your actual belly – hands off, people!).
Other than the extremes of drugs, smoking or drinking, of course, pregnant women shouldn’t be judged for the choices we make or how we look. It’s our body and our baby.
That nine months is a tough time for each of us in a different way, and no one can fully appreciate it until they’ve been in our exact shoes. Sometimes we just can’t get through normal life, let alone be well enough to exercise or cook healthy food. But what we can do, is do the best we can.
This time around with my pregnancy I’ve learned my lessons. I’ve found what works exercise-wise – swimming, as it cools me down and stops me being sick – and I’m eating better.
To my fellow preggie mums, I feel your pain. Most mornings I also feel that terrible sickness and tiredness, but I know if I manage to exercise and eat well I’m making positive choices for my baby and myself. It IS possible.
To the rest of you, let’s give pregnant women a big break and loads of support, without any body shaming. We pregnant women will do the best we can, if you keep your mouths firmly shut. Deal?
Written by Siobhan Rennie
For more from Siobhan visit her blog Me Oh My Mum
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