20 weird things about pregnancy

For a surprisingly long time you don’t look pregnant – not even to yourself.

That no one guessed during your first trimester. Didn’t anyone notice your elaborate ruse with your soda and lime at that party?

When you told your best friend you’re pregnant, she said, “So am I!”

Forget eating for two. You only really need 200 extra calories a day.

By the way, that’s one banana and an extra slice of toast.

Bursting into tears at loads of weird stuff, like just missing your bus, your partner buying you the wrong chocolate bar, or just because…

Checking your favourite baby websites every spare second you get.

How big is your baby this week? And what else do you need to buy for the nursery?

Eating actually helps with your morning sickness – and it’s never too early for donuts.

The cutesy voice you put on when you talk to your bump.

Bursting into tears the first time you see your baby on the ultrasound monitor.

Emailing your regular baby development email to everyone is the high point of your week.

That no one is going to offer you their seat on the bus or train.

That the guy you fancied at work five years ago is still going out with you, and he’s about to be the father of your baby. And you still fancy him.

Being convinced you’re having a boy.

Your girlfriends, your mum, neighbour, boss and the woman on the supermarket check-out all being convinced it’s a boy….

Then it’s not.

You are not actually the centre of attention.

Your partner is surprisingly calm throughout the labour and birth. Or at least, he hides it well.

Cutting out alcohol was easier than you thought. Who knew?!

Everyone feeling the need to touch your bump… and all you can do is smile.

Thinking you could work right up until your due date… but you need a nap by three o’clock.

The first glimpse of your cone-headed, crying, cross, vernix-coated newborn is the most beautiful sight in the world. Ever.