Remember when we told you about (read: caused you to spray your morning coffee all over your iPhone due to…) a woman getting stuck between two windows after trying to retrieve a poop (YES, P-O-O-P, poop) she had tossed out of her Tinder date’s window?
Following this not-so discreet excretion incident, a window had to be broken to free the woman, with her Tinder date, Liam Smyth, taking to GoFundMe to raise the $400 it would cost to fix the window.
Well, Mr Smyth has announced that the donations rolling in for his cause have surpassed his asking amount… by 10 times.
OK, so lets’ rewind a few days back to a few days back to explain exactly why Mr Smyth is raising money, this is what originally went down…
An English woman, who prefers to remain unnamed, had just spent a lovely evening at Nandos with her Tinder date, Mr Smyth, when the pair decided to take things back to his place for more some more vino and a Scientology documentary.
(A Louis Theroux docu teamed with a glass or two of cab sav? A man after our own hearts…)
Although, it was at Mr Smyth’s place, which happens to be a share house, that said-woman needed to do an inconvenient number two.
Post-poop, the woman “panicked”, throwing her poop OUT THE WINDOW AND INTO THE GARDEN to conceal the smelly evidence.
Sadly, the poor gal missed her intended garden target, with her faeces becoming wedged between two non-opening windows.
^^ Her, then. Us, now.
“I was understandably concerned,” Mr Smyth says of the poop incident his Tinder date had confessed to, adding: “I told her we would go outside, bag up the offending poo in the garden, bin it, and pretend the whole sorry affair had never happened.”
“Unfortunately, owing to a design quirk of my house, the toilet window does not in fact open to the garden, but instead into a narrow gap of about a foot and a half, seperated from the outside world by another (non-opening) double-glazed window. It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo.”
The window where the poop got caught…
Mr Smyth, who has been crowd-funding money to fix the window emergency services were forced to break to free his date, says that the woman had gone to the bathroom once again, while he searched his house for a hammer to break the glass to free the poop.
However, things had already taken a worrying turn…
The woman, who is an amateur gymnast, had proceeded to climb head first between the two windows to retrieve her poop, but soon became stuck.
Mr Smith then called the local firies and, after “they had composed themselves”, they set to work removing her from the window.
What Mr Smyth came back to after trying to find a hammer to shatter the glass before knowing his date had tried to retrieve the poop herself.
The local firies had to break the glass to free Mr Smyth’s date, costing him the equivalent of around $400 to replace.
We feel for this woman; who hasn’t felt a skerrick of sheer terror upon dropping one at their partner’s place during those all-important and always-tumultuous first stages of dating someone new?
And to be honest, why should we feel this way? Like, can’t we just poop wherever we please and be done with it?!
We guess this is why we’re surprisingly stoked with the final outcome of this story: that this guy was a total normal humanbeing about the whole thing and hasn’t just ditched his date because of this slightly embarrassing (fecal) matter.
Nope, they’re actually still dating…
“We had a lovely night on the second date but it’s too early to say if she’s the one,” he says.
“But we got on very very well and she’s a lovely girl.”
“And we’ve already got the most difficult stuff out of the way first.”
FACT.
After the window is fixed, all of the leftover money is being donated to Toilet Twinnings, a charity building and maintaining flushing toilets in the developing world, and the Firefighters charity. Because, according to Mr Smyth, “the guys who came to the house were brilliant, took everything in good humour, and profesional.
