By Judy Davie
For further information about food and nutrition, visit Judy Davie’s website at www.thefoodcoach.com.au
I’m embarrassed by this, but my husband has quite a high sex drive, but because I’m very overweight (80kg), I’m too self-conscious about my body and often reject his advances. I know it upsets him, but I can’t bear the idea of him looking at my fat body.
It sounds like your husband thinks you’re beautiful regardless of what you think of yourself. It is hard to succumb to physical advances with low physical self esteem but you could adopt a very clinical approach to start with.
To lose weight you will have to reduce your consumption of food and start exercising.
Lovemaking is a form of exercise and one that can be very enjoyable. Your husband loves you and wants to exercise with you.
20 minutes of foreplay with 15 minutes of lovemaking burns approximately 125 calories, the equivalent to a slice of iced carrot cake. It’s more strenuous that going for a slow 30-minute walk.
Accept the fact that he finds you attractive, put yourself on an energy reduced diet, cut down saturated fats and refined carbohydrates, and view the love making activity as exercise. If you do it three to four times a week you could both end up happy — he’s got his beautiful loving wife and you will have lost some weight. Who knows, at the end of the day, you may end up feeling so beautiful and desirable he’ll be the one rolling over, saying ‘Not tonight, honey’.
How can I gain weight? I’m so skinny and look much older than my 45 years, but hard as I try I don’t seem to me able to gain weight.
I’m glad you’ve written. We read and write so much about weight loss but fail to notice there are people out there with the opposite problem which is just as hard to rectify.
The key to this is adopting a similar approach — energy in versus energy out. The difference here is that you need to take more energy in than you are expending.
Many underweight people don’t really enjoy food. They are often busy, high-energy, sometimes nervous individuals who may regularly miss meals because they forget to eat and don’t feel hungry. When you love food you never forget to eat!
And just as foodies have to eat less until their stomach gets used to feeling satisfied with smaller serves, you will have to eat more until your stomach gets used to larger serves. Eating small amounts more often is usually easier. Make sure you eat at least four times a day and include breakfast, lunch and dinner with a mid morning or mid afternoon snack.
What you eat is always vitally important — weight gain can be achieved by consuming high quantities of saturated fat and high-carb foods, but overall your health will suffer and you’ll look and feel older than ever! Healthy high-energy foods include nuts and seeds, avocado, coconut oil and all other oils. Full fat dairy, like butter and cheese are okay, but only when you’re eating plenty of wholegrain cereals and monounsaturated fats to help manage cholesterol. Fatty fish, like sardines, salmon and mackerel are higher in calories than white fish and exceptionally good for your skin texture, brain and joints.
Vegetables, although low in energy are still very important for their age defying antioxidants so make sure to eat five serves of veggies a day. Two serves of fruit is also recommended. Veggies are delicious dressed in a great extra virgin olive oil with roasted nuts, including high energy pine nuts or roasted slivered almonds.
A typical high energy day may include:
Muesli with full fat milk Poached egg on wholegrain toast with avocado and grilled tomato Grilled chicken and pine nut salad with sweet potato, sweetcorn and olive oil vinaigrette ½ cup cashews and a soy latte Salmon steak with mashed potatoes (mashed in olive oil and garlic), steamed broccoli with olive oil and roast almonds Apple crumble with cream
The energy intake for a day like this is around 13,500kj, double the energy intake of most weight-loss diets. It’s a lot of food but it’s all good food. With effort and commitment you should be gaining pounds and feeling fabulous in no time.
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