Too often, holidays mean ringside seats to pointless annual sparring matches between relatives. Here are some ideas to encourage a spirit of togetherness. 1. Mend fences Focus on family ties. This is the time to ask Grandpa about his war experiences, and let him have the floor. Don’t put it off. 2. Confront classic patterns If your brother-in-law tries to whip up a political argument as he does every single year – change the subject. 3. Get friendly help Keep family functions non-confrontational by inviting a friend to tag along. Or, host a function for both friends and family. 4. Remember Put together a scrapbook of photos, stories, or other memories of family members. Make it part of your holiday rituals to look through it every year, and add to it. 5. Don’t try to please everyone In this age of blended families and long-distance relatives, it’s impossible. Instead, clearly communicate where you’re going to spend festive meals ahead of time, decide how long you’re going to stay, and don’t compromise: if you only want to stay two hours at a certain get-together, stick to it. 6. Create new traditions Just because people share your genes, doesn’t mean you’ve got anything in common. There are people who show up at every wedding and funeral, yet know nothing about anyone else. It’s OK to put your happiness first and start traditions of your own. Spend the holiday break at a health retreat, or gather your own friends together for a Christmas eve supper. The best holidays are the ones you celebrate with supportive people.
Six ways to find holiday harmony
Too often, holidays mean ringside seats to pointless annual sparring matches between relatives. Here are some ideas to encourage a spirit of togetherness.