Clearly, when he wrote “Hell is other people”, Jean-Paul Sartre knew something about how it feels to hold a grudge. It’s only natural to find it difficult to forgive someone when they have done something awful to you, but it’s imperative that you try – and succeed – otherwise you are just re-injuring yourself. Vengeful thoughts hurt you mentally and physically, making you discontented, cynical and stressed. It’s no accident that every single great religious tradition has taught that forgiveness is the most important first step on the path to true contentment. Try to find another way of looking at that which you need to forgive. It’s often easier to at least understand someone else after you’ve “walked in their shoes”. This is why so many people often develop a better – or at least a different – relationship with their parents after they have had children themselves. Remember that everyone brings different strengths and weaknesses to any situation, that most people do the best job they know how to do, and that it is difficult to move beyond the genetic and life skills they have inherited: They are what they are. Also, remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean that you’re saying what someone has done to you is acceptable, or that you’re going to forget about it. What it does mean is that you are not going to let your anger dominate you any more. You’re releasing yourself.
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