Guilt is very common in women, and it’s really just a roundabout way of saying you don’t like yourself. When we feel guilty we feel inefficient, bad and wrong. We feel guilty for eating, for spending too much money (or not enough), for not giving enough time to our children (or for smothering them), for working (or for not working hard enough). A no-win situation that is very bad for your health, making you feel sad and depressed.
Guilt is almost always triggered by low self-esteem (‘If I were cleverer/faster/better, I would be able to _’). It also goes hand in hand with a fear of not being good enough, or of not being worthy, with a willingness to put yourself down – and sometimes even with a superstitious fear that happiness is automatically followed by disaster or problems as part of some sort of natural balance. If any of these ring a bell, it’s definitely time to give yourself a break!
First, make a guilt checklist: jot down every time you feel guilty about something – then put a line through everything that isn’t actually your fault. Second, realise that people won’t reject you if you do something wrong. Finally, where appropriate, try getting good and mad instead of feeling guilty – it’s much more empowering!
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