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“You don’t actually think it’s going to happen”: Why we need R U OK Day

On average, around 8 people commit suicide in Australia every day. Colleen, 42, remembers when her cousin took his own life – and why she thinks R U OK Day could’ve helped to save it.

My cousin was 17 when he died.

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Before he passed away, I remember Mum saying he would wake up and couldn’t wait to go to sleep again. He never wanted to face the day.

But one day, he just got up and ran out of the house. Later on, two police came to my aunt’s front door; she ran, screaming, because she just… knew. My cousin had jumped off a bridge. He had committed suicide.

He had actually tried a few times before – one time, he tried to hang himself with a belt, but my aunt found him first. We knew he was suicidal but you don’t actually think it’s going to happen. Especially if nothing like that has ever really touched you before. But then we got the call that he had actually died…

When he died, it was the first time that any real tragedy had affected our family. He was so young, and it was the first funeral we had ever been to. My cousin had an older and a younger brother – we’d grown up together.

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It really was so awful.

R U OK Day wasn’t around back then, and mental illness and suicide weren’t hugely talked about.

These days, there’s much more awareness around depression. I honestly think even just sending a nice text to someone on R U OK Day would help them out; it could potentially open up a conversation.

That would be something I would’ve done for my cousin, knowing that he had been feeling down or if I hadn’t spoken to him for a while. I would have asked if he was OK.

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R U OK Day is a suicide prevention charity that aims to start life-changing conversations. If you, or someone you know, is not OK, contact beyondblue for a free, confidential chat.

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