Gone off sex?

If all you want to do in the bedroom is sleep, these three tips will help you get things started — even on a school night.

“Between work and kids, I’m exhausted”

It’s important to keep physical intimacy going any way you can — otherwise you risk endangering your relationship. Reframe your man’s overtures as a desire to get close to you, rather than as a chore. Fight the voice that says you’re too tired, and go for it. Even simply kissing and cuddling releases endorphins — relaxing chemicals — that make you feel foxier for next time.Top tip: think about the last time you had terrific sex together. The memory should get you in the mood for more.

“He’s been unfaithful”

Any unresolved anger about your partner’s behaviour will definitely come out in the bedroom, and when you’ve been hurt, it’s twice as difficult to relax and let yourself be vulnerable. Keep communicating, even if all you feel like saying is that you don’t trust him right now. Talking will help you feel safe, so you can build trust again.Top tip: massage reduces stress and encourages intimacy, so let him give you a loving back rub.

“I feel fat and frumpy”

Worrying about your looks sabotages the fun of having sex. Challenge your negative thoughts. Find three things you like about your body — preferably below the neck — and every time your inner critic rears its ugly head, think about these things. Remember, your bloke’s in bed with you because he fancies you. Chances are, he doesn’t even notice your stretch marks or cellulite.Top tip: wear a sexy nightie that shows off your best bits, such as your legs.

Top tip: think about the last time you had terrific sex together. The memory should get you in the mood for more.