Create ripples

Imagine you have tossed a pebble into a pond and you are watching the ripples spread out. The same principle applies to your life — your smallest action can have far-reaching effects.

By seeking opportunities to pay a compliment, show kindness, offer a helping hand or just listen with courtesy at least once every day, you create “ripples” that can go a long way towards making you feel happier and calmer. Why? Because we humans are tribal animals and the need for communication and strong, authentic connections with other humans is hard-wired into us.

In creating ripples, you are also making a subtle but very powerful life choice: to be a positive force in the world, rather than a negative one. Positive relationships and experiences aren’t elusive gifts; they’re the result of habits. Instead of reflexively seeing the worst, focus on the beauty and goodness in people and events. Try one — or all — of these eight easy ideas today.

Give a reason. Tell the people that you love why you love them. Say, “I care about you because you …” or “You matter to me because …”. And say it out loud, don’t expect them to guess.

Praise other people’s abilities. Say to the postman, the taxi driver or the garage mechanic, “You’re doing a great job” — magic words that can make a person’s day. Move on to your co-workers or friends.

Compliment a stranger. Tell someone that you love their haircut, handbag, puppy or shoes. Walking past a mother with a baby in a stroller? Say, “Oh, isn’t she sweet!” and smile.

Reach out and touch. Gently squeeze a colleague’s hand when you thank them for helping you. Never pass up an opportunity to give a congratulatory slap on the shoulder, a hug or an affectionate pat.

Show good manners. There is always time for courtesy. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman — opening doors, giving up your seat on the train or bus, or offering another person the next place in a queue can all make someone else’s day and improve yours.

Say ‘Thank you’. Acknowledge everyone, whether they are young or old, fast or slow, family, friends or complete strangers. The simplest expression of gratitude is a gift to the giver as well as the recipient.

Play the game ‘New or Good’. At the end of each day, ask your flatmate, partner or child to tell you about one new or good experience they’ve had. Then offer your own response. It doesn’t have to be big; maybe the roses were out in the park where you had lunch. Notice all the small, sweet blessings in your life.

Sparkle. For one week, sprinkle “fairy dust” on everything that you do: be enthusiastic at the office; recognise people, remember their names and use them — no one likes to be ignored; smile and speak pleasantly; tell jokes. See the difference in how others respond to you.