“Talking about how much I love Matty is taking me back to that heartbreak. I’ve been fine, and I know I will be fine, but today it’s been really hard.”
The Bachelor Australia 2017’s Elise Stacy is choking back tears on her way back from a radio tour where she’s had to pretend Matty Johnson picked her in the finale and she’s head over heels in love.
“I’ve been running to the bathroom in between radio interviews and crying,” she told us exclusively prior to the finale.
It’s hard to believe the dark horse of the competition, with her limited amount of time with Bachelor Matty J ever stood a chance against front-runner Laura Byrne.
But Elise, with all her heart, believed she was The One.
Between hugs and tears, NW chatted to Elise about what went wrong…
Elise held back tears as she spoke about Matty.
Oh, Elise, how are you doing?
To be honest, I have been quite emotional… Reliving it all and talking about Thailand and that final rose ceremony and how much I love Matty.
I think if anymore days has past I would have burst. Today’s been really hard.
You sound like you’ve been trapped in heartbreak?
Yeah, I’ve been pretty good at putting on a brave face.
It’s been quite a bit of time and I was gutted, heartbroken, upset. I didn’t know what to do with myself… After a few weeks of being miserable I got myself the hell out of Australia to try and move on.
Were you blindsided by his decision – you got on so well with his family!
I did. I felt a million dollars after meeting his family. I remember that night being on cloud nine, and really picturing us together.
I did think it was going to be me. But in hindsight, I probably got a few feelings on our last date, and walking up to him something was telling me something’s not quite right.
But I really still didn’t expect to be the one that he didn’t choose. I was shocked, speechless and didn’t know what to do.
The couple shared a romantic stroll in Thailand!
When was the moment you realised he was about to break your heart?
When he told me.
It was hard because he’d been up there and pretty much told me I was amazing and that he enjoyed every part of it and that I’m just not for him.
So until he said those few little words, I thought everything was pretty rosy. It was very hard for me to understand.
Do you think he had a hard time letting go of you?
I hope so to be honest, cause then that makes me feel like his feelings were genuine, because I don’t believe you can just shut them off.
And If you could just shut them off I would doubt they were strong feeling at all
What did you do when you left him?
I turned away from him and started walking. I didn’t know where I was going.
I just wanted to walk far enough away from him before I started crying.
Then I just cried. That moment, I didn’t really care that there were a million cameras around me – that was the last of my worries. I was upset because he didn’t love me back and I felt bad and cried. I just wanted to go home.
How did you break it to your family?
I didn’t actually tell them until the next day.
I was sad and cried a lot and I wanted that time to be able to just let myself completely go – I gave myself the night to be really sad and reflect on it.
Then the next morning I woke up still crying, I called my mum and all I said to her was, “Mum, it’s not me and I’m coming home.”
I think heard her start crying. I hung up the phone and flew straight home to my family.
Oh Elise… This is heartbreaking
It’s so awful to relive it… I think that’s why I’ve struggled today, cause I have done so well to block it out. I have moved on and I have been fine and I’ve spent time working on myself and getting life back on track. So it’s a very unnatural thing to go back and relive it today.
You’ve had to be reliving it for some time – especially online, pretending you’re in a relationship with Matty!
Oh my gosh. I’ve really not enjoyed having social media open to us this year.
I think my position has been probably the hardest thing – to keep up that illusion that I’m in love with Matty.
How weird is it having to post photos of you and your ex-boyfriend all over social media.
I actually texted Laura just before I posted a photo of me and Matty and I said, “I’m so sorry. I do not wan’t to do this. I mean no disrespect by it, but it is something I have to do.”
You’ve copped a lot of hate online, too…
I think this year there have been so many spoilers, so people have commented the whole time, “We all know its Laura”, even though they don’t actually know it’s her.
That has been very hard for me to have all over social media, because I think that it has devalued my story with Matty and that has been very disappointing for me.
Matty has said that he didn’t make the decision until the morning of the finale, how does that sit with you?
I hope that’s true. He said that the whole time that he won’t make the decision until he has to make that decision, so that he gives every person the opportunity that they deserve.
So I really hope that he didn’t make the decision. I was so uneasy the day before cause, I mean, I had the date just before the rose ceremony, so if he had made his decision any earlier than that, I would have felt really horrible about it.
Do you genuinely feel he was falling in love with you?
I wonder that… I do wonder whether he genuinely felt the things that he told me he felt, and I think any girl would question that.
I think he did, because I don’t think you can fake it and I thought it was going to be me, and I felt like he had very strong feelings for me.
Of course, it runs through my mind and you never know for sure but for my own sanity I have to believe that he was genuine.
Would you have preferred to save yourself the heartbreak and gone home earlier?
I wonder that every day. Look, it’s true when they say, “You would rather have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
I hadn’t been in love for a long time before this, and so my previous relationship took a long time to get over.
So for me to be able to fall for someone else was so great. I’m glad I had those feelings for Matty – it was really nice to be in love again, so that was enjoyable.
I’m glad to have felt that as well as being heartbroken. I’m going to cry again.
Oh, sorry
Oh my God, this is so horrible.
Elise, this may not be over for you though – Matty had his heart broken too, and now he’s found love. This could be you too if you consider The Bachelorette?
Right now I have to say no.
I know how horrible I would feel and I just couldn’t do what he did, and take girls along for the ride knowing they’re so invested.
I think that’s me right now. What I went thorough was horrible and I don’t think I could take someone through that.
