On Wednesdayโs episode of Married at First Sight we were introduced to Heidi Latcham, the 38-year-old from QLD who was paired with new husband, electrician Mike Gunner, 44.
And while the pair couldnโt keep their hands off each other during their wedding (and coincidentally we just learned โ in the bedroom), it seems the honeymoon is overโฆalready.
Yup, if youโve only just joined us, it took a mere 24-hours for Mike to dramatically upset his bride โ and no, we cannot believe it either!
While on Honeymoon in the Whitsundays, and after sealing the deal on their wedding night, Heidi and Mike share a lovely day on their private yacht.
But when Heidi wants to get to know Mike on a deeper level, things turn a littleโฆ sour.
Mike Gunner and Heidi Latcham thought they had hit the jackpotโฆ (Source: MAFS Instagram)
โHeโs so beautiful and heโs so affectionate,โ Heidi says of her new beau as we watch her lather Mike in sunscreen.
โBut I feel like I havenโt had a proper time to get to know him as a whole package.โ
Well, Heidi, be very careful what you wish for because youโre about to โget to knowโ Mike and we fear you may be less than enthusedโฆ
READ NEXT: Married at First Sightโs Mike proves why he is still single at 44
Thereโs no escaping this one, Mike! (Source: Channel 9)
To truly gauge the gravity of how much this honeymoon is well and truly donezo, we must first give you word-for-word conversation that started it all.
โI want to tell you some things โ what I needโฆโ Heidi says.
โJust tell me,โ Mike interrupts and Mike, please, no.
โBut Iโm afraid that if I do, youโll be a bit sensitive. Youโll be like why..do you know what I mean? I want to be able to talk to you more,โ she continues.
โWhatโs the problem,โ Mike says interrupting again andโฆ hmmmโฆ
โOK, so Iโm not surfacey, Iโm like deep deep deep in the ocean, deep, deep,โ Heidi explains, and Mike says โme tooโ, obviously having no clue what she is talking about.
As Heidi continues, Mike stops his bride by patting her on the leg, and using his best kindy teacher voice says; โLetโs figure out that other stuff.โ
Heidi looking extremely puzzled, says; โThatโs what weโre doing,โ to which he responds, โYeh, well I will work harder on thatโฆโ And if we could shake our heads any harder in desperation, we would.
Huh??? (Source: Channel 9)
But it doesnโt end there, because Mike has zero idea why Heidi is feeling this way and then blames it on the fact that โmen and womenโ do it sooo differently โ and someone remove his Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus book STAT!
Heidi then explains she wants Mike to be her REAL husband, and not a fake husband like he is on the showโฆ.to which he responds with this:
Heโs obviously speaking words telepathically. (Source: Channel 9)
And Heidi responds like this:
QUE???? (Source: Channel 9)
And this is B.A.D.
โYou have a lovely neck,โ Mike than says, trying to deflect this very intense conversation, and seriously, this guy. EYE ROLL. โI want to kiss itโฆโ
Look, weโre not having โa goโ at Mike, but someone really should because this is the most frustrating behaviour and it needs to endโฆ
But this is not the endโฆ and please, no. Make it stop โ because even Mike wants it to stop and heโs the ACTUAL issue.
โOK, talk to me about anything and Iโll ask you more often if you are happy and you just do the same to me. Thatโs it.โ
Narrator: But it wasnโt โitโโฆ
Donโt be fooled by thisโฆ (Source: Channel 9)
Heidi begins to open up about her past.
She tells the story of how she was born โstrongโ and then moved out of home when she was in High School and lived by herself.
Mike seems receptive. Itโs like he actually took notes from their conversation on the boat and we think, maybe heโs OK afterallโฆ
After revealing she was in foster care and lived in government housing during her teens, Mike then says in a voice over:
โHonestly, I just lose focus after awhile.โ And, sorry, what?
And as Heidi continues to talk, we can see him drifting away while playing with her toes (eww).
The said โtoe-playingโ. (Source: Channel 9)
โItโs just me, I switch off when a person just keeps talking about the same thing from every angle, and I feel like Iโve got the point and weโre going back over the same story.โ
โNot to say that I donโt respect what sheโs talking about but Iโve kind of already got it. I donโt know, Iโve just stopped listening. I want to listen, but I canโtโฆโ and actually, Mike. We think you canโฆ
Mike loses his cool with Heidi and says โitโs different nowโ, but she doesnโt read the room, because BAM.
โYeh, how hot is it todayโฆโ Mike says and weโre deceased and so is Heidi.
That look on Heidiโs face thoughโฆ (Source: Getty)
Mike then turns the tables on his bride, telling her โheโs just gotta let her inโ.
โIโm sorry that I cut you off,โ he tells her (quite aggressively). โBut at the start of the conversation you were coming to a point and you never quite got there, and I want to listen, I really do but I just want to come back to that point.โ
โShorten these points out, thatโs all because it just looks like youโre ranting at me.โ
โWow, itโs like two minutesโฆโ she says. โLiterallyโ.
WATCH NEXT: Mike reveals his true colours
โLook, Iโm not your therapist. This isnโt therapy. Youโre just telling me, and I canโt listen anymore than a couple of minutes at a time,โ Mike tells her and Mike, youโre toast!
Because Heidi has sense, she says to him: โIf we werenโt on an island, I would run!โ
And donโt worry Heidi, weโll send you a life raft powered by Now to Love.
Of course, Twitter was NOT having any of it:
Exactly, Mike Gunner. That is exactly how you get to be 44 and single!