After toying with the temptation to quit for several days, an emotional Bonnie Anderson finally chose to voluntarily withdraw from the SAS Australia course during Wednesday nightโs episode.
The singer and actress reveals to TV WEEK that she was overcome with anxiety by the time she made the difficult decision to leave the show seven days in.
โBasically from day two I was playing in my head that I wanted to go. From the moment of being tear gassed it was always a fear of me to be tear gassed again and I was like โI donโt want to feel like that againโ,โ she says.
โTo be honest I didnโt even know I had those fears. It was mentally difficult for me to process.โ
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Bonnie, who was the youngest recruit on the show, admits the course is โmade to make you crumble and face your demonsโ.
(Image: Seven)Describing herself as a โtough cookieโ in the outside world, Bonnie admits her emotions became hard to manage towards the tail end of her stint on the show.
โI got to the stage where I was really pushing myself beyond where I wanted to go anyway,โ she says.
โIโve never been an anxious person and I was feeling really not myself and feeling really traumatised. I had to really be honest with myself because I did try and leave a few time and [the DS] didnโt allow me to because they saw potential in me.โ
Bonnie admits she struggled to adjust to reality when she came home to Melbourne after leaving the course, saying she was โnumb for weeksโ.
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Describing herself as a โtough cookieโ in the outside world, Bonnie admits her emotions became hard to manage towards the tail end of her stint on the show.
(Image: Seven)โIโm glad I did because it was something I needed to deal with and I got to go through that rollercoaster and now I feel like Iโm in a great place,โ she says.
โIโm now more self-aware and confident and I donโt doubt myself nearly as much as I did.
โWatching it back I kind of almost missed it, itโs kind of psychotic,โ she laughs.
The former Neighbours actress, who was the youngest recruit on the show, admits the course is โmade to make you crumble and face your demonsโ.
โI felt really out of my comfort zone. People donโt understand I was the youngest I was fed up and I had had enough,โ she says.
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Bonnie admits she struggled to adjust to reality when she came home to Melbourne after leaving the course, saying she was โnumb for weeksโ.
(Image: Seven)The 27-year-old shared a tender moment with DS Ant Middleton as she announced her departure from the course, with the no-nonsense ex SAS soldier breaking his tough exterior to tell Bonnie he was proud of her.
โAnt was the toughest but he was so soft in a lot of ways as well,โ she says.
โWe had a couple of moments where we had a chat and he said encouraging words. He pulled me off camera and said: โYou can do this, this is your moment, believe in yourselfโ.
โHeโs a father and heโs an incredible husband and heโs such an incredible man and I really looked up to him and wanted to make him proud. I had a real soft spot for him.โ
Bonnie revealed Ant, along with fellow DS Mark โBillyโ Billingham, Ollie Ollerton and Jason โFoxyโ Fox, kept their aggressive โpersonaโ up throughout the entire show, even when cameras werenโt rolling.
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Bonnie shared a tender moment with DS Ant Middleton as she announced her departure, with the no-nonsense ex SAS soldier breaking his tough exterior to tell Bonnie he was proud of her.
(Image: Seven)โThere were very few moments where we see them giggling to each other,โ she says.
Despite some tense exchanges between some recruits, including Koby Abberton and Jett Kenny, Bonnie says the group of 18 celebrities have remained close and continue to speak everyday via a group chat.
โEveryone was pretty kind to each other. But there were really intense moments where stuff got really heated,โ she says.
โThe boat day was really hard because it was a team challenge and a competition. We were all yelling at each other it was very hard and you obviously saw Kerry and Koby [squabbling].
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Bonnie, who won The Masked Singer last year, revealed she believes Jack Vidgen is behind the Kebab costume on the current season.
(Image: Ten)โBut at the end of the day we all really like each other everyone was such different personalities. We all come from different walks of life.
Bonnie, who won The Masked Singer last year, also revealed her predictions for which celebrities are behind the costumes on the current season.
โI kind of just feel like the Kebab could be Jack Vidgen,โ she says.
โI know him very well and heโs incredible, but I havenโt figured out any others.โ