Best-selling author of The Thursday Murder Club, Richard Osman is putting aside his famous series to embark on a new adventure, We Solve Murders.
The new murder mystery series, which is equally as warm and funny as his previous, follows private security officer Amy Wheeler as she’s falsely accused of a string of murders and goes on the run with famous novelist Rosie D’Antonio.
Here Woman’s Day brings you an exclusive first chapter of We Solve Murders…
YOUR FIRST CHAPTER EXCLUSIVE
It had finally happened. Andrew Fairbanks had always known he would be famous one day. And that day – a quiet, sunny Tuesday in early August – had, at last, arrived.
The years of Instagram fitness videos had given him a following, sure, but nothing like this. This was insane.
There had been an on-off relationship with a minor pop singer, which had seen his picture in the papers from time to time. But not on the front pages like today.
The notoriety Andrew Fairbanks had chased for so long was finally his. His name on lips around the world. Trending on social media. That selfie on the yacht was everywhere. Andrew, shirtless and tanned, winking into the camera, the warm sun winking along behind him. His bottle of Krusher energy drink raised in a happy toast.
And the comments beneath the photo! The heart emojis, the fire emojis, the lust. Everything Andrew had ever dreamed of.
Some of the other comments might have dampened his spirits a little, however. “Gone too soon,” “So fit, RIP,” “So haunting
to see that photo when you knew what was about to happen…” – but you couldn’t argue with the volume. Impressive traffic. In the offices of the Love Island production team, his photograph was passed around, and there were discussions about how perfect he might have been if only, well, you know.
Yes, finally, everybody knew Andrew Fairbanks. Or, as he was now more commonly known, “Tragic Instagram influencer, Andrew Fairbanks.”
So it wasn’t all upside. And, in fact, even that slim upside is beginning to dim. It is Wednesday afternoon by now, and his name is already beginning to slip down the rankings. Other things are happening in the world. A baseball star has driven his pick-up into his ex-wife’s swimming pool. A beauty vlogger has said something inappropriate about Taylor Swift. The conversation, like the tide, is turning.
Andrew Fairbanks had been found dead: shot in the head, tied to a rope and thrown from a yacht bobbing about in the Atlantic. There was no one else on the yacht, and no sign that anyone had ever been there, with the exception of a leather bag containing nearly one million dollars.
But none of this gives you the right to be famous more than a day or so. One day, perhaps, there might be a podcast about the case or, better still, a Netflix true-crime documentary, but, for now, Andrew’s limelight is turning to dusk.
Soon Andrew Fairbanks will be just a photograph, holding a purple energy drink in front of a blue sea, a corpse in a South Carolina mortuary, and the odd, “Remember that guy who died on that yacht with all that money?”
Who killed him? Who knows? Someone or other, certainly, and social media has a lot of opinions on it. Why did they kill him? No idea – someone must have had their reasons, mustn’t they? Jealous partner? Instagram fitness rival? Could be all sorts of explanations. Can you believe what this vlogger has said about Taylor Swift?
Just for the one day, though, what a ride it had been. If Andrew had still been alive, he would have been looking for a full-time manager. Get me a few more deals, protein bars, teeth-whitening clinics, perhaps I could launch my own vodka?
Yes, just for a day, everybody had wanted a piece of Andrew Fairbanks. Although, after the sharks had finished with him, there weren’t that many pieces left.
And that’s showbusiness.
We Solve Murders, Penguin, $34.99
