Content warning: This article discusses the topic of mental health
For more than 30 years, Anthony Field – aka the OG Blue Wiggle – has brought happiness and joy to countless preschool kids around the world, and helped give their parents a bit of much-needed respite in the process.
But behind the fame and fanfare, the performer’s life has been far from perfect.
Though synonymous with spreading joy and smiles through music and storytelling, away from the stage, the children’s entertainer was battling debilitating depression, which he reveals in his new tell-all memoir out this month.
“To talk about my struggles and to be very open about everything… it’s very scary for me,” the 61-year-old tells Woman’s Day.
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BUILDING AN EMPIRE
A surprise success story since founding the musical juggernaut back in 1991 alongside Murray Cook, Greg Page, Phillip Wilcher and Jeff Fatt, Anthony has helped steer the Wiggles to become Australia’s biggest musical export – notching up more than 30 million album and DVD sales and at one stage, raking in as much as $45 million annually.
In short, they became the most successful children’s musical group on the planet. But despite the millions in the bank and the endless applause, away from the spotlight Anthony was spiralling.
“We’ve done more than 5,000 shows, and I don’t think I’ve not enjoyed any of them, but when I’d come off stage I’d start to feel lonely or feel like I didn’t fit in,” he recalls.
“I remember my brother asking me, ‘What have you got to be sad about?’ and, of course, he was right. On the surface the house was paid for, the kids had been put through school, I had lots of money in the bank… but it’s not about that. Depression can hit anyone – successful people and financially well-off people included.”
He continues, “At the time, I didn’t know why I was like that. In the early days, I knew nothing about mental health. It was my dad who started to get worried about me – he came on the road and kept an eye on me and ended up contacting a psychologist and I started to get therapy.”
The book (co-written with his cousin, Greg Truman) is a brutally honest account that traverses the star’s journey from his humble origins through to global superstardom.
It was a journey that began in the 1980s when he, his two brothers and future Wiggles bandmate, Jeff, formed pub rock band the Cockroaches.
“We were doing shows with the likes of INXS and the Hoodoo Gurus – they were all playing in the same pubs – and I used to run into Michael Hutchence regularly,” Anthony remembers.
“Heroin was the big drug at the time and I saw a lot of people I knew overdose on it. But we were innocent Catholic school boys and it became known that we, The Cockroaches, just didn’t do it, and the dealers didn’t even bother with us!”
Clearly the seeds for his future clean-cut career were sown and, while swapping rock’n’roll excess for toddlers and tykes, some of the pitfalls of a musical career were unavoidable.
“Touring was really tough,” he admits. “The Wiggles were away sometimes nine months of the year, so for my family it was especially hard. I felt like I was a hamster on a wheel at times, just going around and around.”
The gruelling commitments took their toll and three of the four original band members announced their departure from the super-group, leaving Anthony as the only original member. However, 33 years on, he’s still happy to be a part of the Wiggles.
“I still absolutely love making music, writing songs, and I love working with people,” he says. “Some of the guys in the group are 40 years younger than me, and my daughter is in the band now (as the backup Blue Wiggle) which is fantastic.
“I just love the massive, energetic crowds, which shows that we’re still very much resonating with the children and their families in really positive ways.”
While professionally Anthony is at his peak, when it comes to his mental health he admits that – despite years of therapy and medication – it’s still a daily struggle.
“It’s a deceptive title,” he says of his memoir. “Because in the last three years, I’ve been really good with medication and counselling, but I don’t think you’re ever truly ‘out of the blue’ if you have this condition.
“I actually went to a doctor a couple of weeks ago and said that I was feeling so much better. I asked if I could go off my medication but the doctor told me, I was on them for life. You learn how to manage it, and to live your life, but it doesn’t really go anywhere.”
SHINING A LIGHT
Though Anthony may still face an uphill struggle, he’s determined to use both his fame and the new book as a vehicle to shine a light on the epidemic of mental health issues among Aussie men.
“There was a time when men were supposed to just shut up and carry on,” he says matter-of-factly. “When I was younger there wasn’t much understanding for anyone who was different.
“I can recognise it a lot in other men now. So I’ll approach them and ask them if they need to talk.”
Despite being in his 60s, retirement definitely isn’t on the cards for the ARIA Award-winner. In fact, he’s taking inspiration from one of his early musical idols, Mick Jagger from the Rolling Stones.
“Just look at him!” he says, in awe.
“In his 80s on stage – that is what I want to be! He’s still incredible and I want to be up there doing the same thing. Every day I still appreciate what I do,” he says with a smile. “I’ve learned a lot but I still make a lot of mistakes… I’m not perfect by any means. I’m a work in progress… I’m not ‘out of the blue’ yet!”
If you or someone you know needs support, contact Beyond Blue 24/7 on 1300 1300 22 4636 or online at www.beyondblue.org.au/
