It’s the morning after the night before and as the famed philosopher, Robert Kelly, once said, “After the party, it’s the after party,” and we quickly see that the couples are all dealing with comedown from the previous night’s dinner.
Everyone is angry, especially Michael.
Oi, run at me.
It’s the final night the couples will spend together before escaping this sick and twisted social experiment. Continuing their theme of low budget dates, Johnny and Stacey Louise sit on the grass outside their house.
What a view.
Meanwhile, Michael and Kaitlyn go for cocktails, dancing and Mexican food. Now that is a good way to end things.
Unsurprisingly, it’s way more sombre and serious at Mark and Felicity’s place. It’s become clear throughout this show these two actually have the most in common because they both hate fun.
Yeah, smiling sucks, I agree.
They then have a huge argument about whether or not Michael is a good dad. Felicity goes Full-Michael and tells Mark what’s what. Mark is very scared once again.
U = dead.
Fast forward to the next morning and the couples have all received letters from their real partners.
Trace gets teary while reading Johnny’s letter, it’s actually pretty sweet, but then he signs it off “Your Spanish Bullfighter.”
Stacey’s letter to Sarge AGAIN references the controversial G string. Seriously, who knew one piece of lingerie would be the source of so much chat. Sarge HATES his letter and is super annoyed.
Unfriendly Pen Pals.
Felicity reads Michael’s letter out loud in front of Mark and it starts off with: “After meeting Mark I feel sorry for you, you definitely drew the short straw. I can only imagine how bored you are.”
BURN. Mark cannot catch a break.
I’m fine.
Mark then reads his letter from Kaitlyn. Despite ZERO mentions of any threesomes, it is pretty emotional and Mark breaks down. Cue awkward hug.
Wow. This is what touching feels like.
On the flip side, Mark’s letter to Kaitlyn is predictably judgey. It discusses the massaging, the bed sharing and that time she went skinny dipping.
After all this letter swapping, it’s finally time for the couples to pack their bags and reunite with their actual partners.
Kaitlyn is sad to be saying goodbye to Michael but promises they’ll be catching up. I can’t imagine Mark and Michael hanging out, but I appreciate Kaitlyn’s optimism.
Mark and Felicity pretend they feel emotions as they farewell each other.
Goodbye, fellow robot.
HOMECOMING TIME.
Michael gets back first and….
Felicity gives him a kiss. Even Michael is surprised.
Kiss ya cuz I miss ya.
Meanwhile, Stacey waits creepily in the kitchen for Sarge with a glass of water staring into the distance.
Hello, Sarge.
And when he walks in things go from weird, to weirder. He just holds her without saying anything.
SHHHHHH.
And that’s curtains….WOAH.
Onto the finale, only two more episode of Seven Year Switch before your normal life can resume. Buckle up baby.
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