They say absence makes the heart grow fonder and that’s certainly how I feel after a few days off from Seven Year Switch. I’ve been left with so many questions..
What is Sarge wearing, is it camo? Has Felicity called the cops because Mark has been watching her sleep? Is Peter Charleston really a psychologist? Fingers crossed we find out the answers to all that and more in tonight’s ep.
Last week there were bombshells a plenty when each partner received a video message from their other half. Needless to say, the videos weren’t really “Oh, I miss you so much” but more “Hey I no longer love you.”
Michael is still pretty gutted about his message from Felicity and she has a case of the guilts, big time. To punish herself she decides to hang out with Mark, knowing it’s the surest way to feel worse.
“Let me tell you more about this sports attire I recently purchased.”
They chat about Mark’s refusal to let go of his Terminator posters and the entire time Felicity looks as if she’s misplaced her panic button.
Over at Kaitlyn and Michael’s joint, Jo Lamble rolls up and puts on her sincere face.
I AM CONCERNED.
They talk about how temperamental Michael is and then do a little role play. Michael plays Michael and Kaitlyn plays Felicity. It’s awkward, Michael can’t act, even as himself, but Kaitlyn is a revelation, she nails the role of Felicity. #MostPopularNewTalent
Time to catch up with Johnny and Stacey Louise. He cooks breakfast as a kind of olive branch after their fight last week and then they decide to go on a day date to mend fences. Stacey Louise takes Johnny to a dog rescue centre which, to be fair, is a pretty cool date.
Stacey says Sarge doesn’t like dogs, “he’s more of a cat man.” JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT SARGE COULDN’T GET ANY WEIRDER.
I’m in the meow-litary.
Speaking of Sarge, he and Trace are going on a road trip in a classic car. It’s just like Thelma and Louise.
ROADTRIP!
These two seem to be getting along pretty well and there’s some serious flirting going on. Trace believes Sarge would be “much happier with someone like myself.” Hmmm.
From classic cars to classic kids games, Kaitlyn decides to cheer Michael up the only way she knows how – a water gun fight.
While Kaitlyn and Michael ruin the expensive house the production team rented out for this show (probably sacrificing the bond in the process, urgh), Jo visits Mark and Felicity to do her little role play game with them.
Mark is a bad Michael, really poorly miscast and even though the exercise is designed to make Felicity realise how she treats Michael, she ain’t buying it.
I am still right, step off Jo.
When it’s Mark’s turn he cooks up some lame fight that he and Kaitlyn have about doing the washing up. Felicity isn’t impressed and that’s def going to come up later. You in trouble Mark.
Meanwhile, Sarge and Tracey continue their day out with a high-speed jet boat trip on Sydney Harbour. This relationship is edging towards romance, one high octane date at a time.
And we’re back with Stacey Louise and Johnny, who get a visit from alleged psychologist Peter. He wants to play a word association test with the pair – this should be good.
Their word is “Friends.”
How did no one write, BEST SHOW EVER!
Sarge and Tracey also cop the word association treatment – their word is “Money.” This leads to a chat about how Tracey hates that Johnny is obsessed with money. In fact, they even have separate accounts because she hates being controlled. But she likes Sarge. But she hates being controlled. I’m officially confused.
Meanwhile, things have taken a bad turn for Michael and Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn asks Michael why he and Felicity didn’t just do normal therapy – this is the first sensible thing she has said and I’m terrified that Kaitlyn and I are on the same page. Michael doesn’t appreciate this and things escalate pretty quickly.
WHY IS THIS TEA SO HOT!
It’s a way better vibe over at Sarge and Trace’s – they’re making spaghetti, Trace is saying things like “I put my love into this sauce,” which actually sounds pretty gross.
Urgh, I can taste the love.
As for their partners, Johnny and Stacey Louise, they’re smashing a bottle of red and Stacey finally gets Johnny to agree to share a bed. Uh-oh.
And that’s where they leave us, on that thrilling cliff hanger. Obviously, I’ll be tuning into the next one though because I’ve definitely caught the Seven Year Itch. Which also sounds pretty gross.
