And we’re back, people. Hooray! I know, right – how were we filling our lives before Offspring returned? I’ve forgotten too.
But here we are. And the producers are furnishing us with a handy-dandy flashback recap. Love them – I can barely remembered what happened yesterday, let alone a year ago.
Right, so we’re flashing back to Cherie and Martin about to head off on their outback adventure (toodles), Geraldine having her threesome (urghh), Zara admitting she cheated on Jimmy (sob), Kerry and Will having a pash in the park (yay!), and Nina and Harry FINALLY getting their acts together to plan their happily-ever-after (about bloody time).
It was a good series and all, but I am SO ready to find out what happens next – and we’re off to a flying start. Especially as everything is kicking off this year with one of Nina’s glorious dream sequences. She’s starring in her very own soft-focus series, titled Extraordinary Professional Women. It’s hilarious. And also a handy-dandy way to bring us up to speed on where she’s at with her life.
As Acting Head of Obstetrics she’s got a lot going on. But not so much that she can’t spare an hour or two to stress about Harry returning from OS. Will they still fancy each other? Will it be awkward? Will he come straight to her house? Oh Nina – he’s a dreamboat, you have nothing to worry about.
Not so Billie – she’s getting increasingly anxious about her relationship with Mick. He’s not picking up Skype and they’re hardly communicating. I feel sick with worry – we all know where this is heading, and it aint good.
Harry (Alexander England) and Nina (Asher Keddie).
It’s not looking ticketyboo for Jimmy and Zara either, who are busily sleeping in separate bed and trying to keep it together for their two ridiculously adorbs blonde kids. That scene where Jimmy’s trying to get Zara to make a decision about where they’re at – heartbreaking. And yeah, I had ‘something in my eye’, too.’ Pleasepleaseplease don’t break up – I couldn’t deal. Ditto Billie. – noooo.
Linda Cropper as Geraldine.
But at least we’ve got Geraldine for some light relief. She’s called everyone over to her place for a ‘Geraldine Day’ – and to spill the beans about her ‘sexual encounter’ with Marjorie. No, Geraldine! Please no – we really don’t need that picture in our heads. Ditto the image of Will volunteering to be a sperm donor for Kim and Jess. Jess is right – he does have ‘a nice man face’ – but enough already with the sperm talk! I thought we left that behind last year.
So there we have it. We’re at the end of the ep. And it was a glorious rollercoaster of awesome. We finish with Billie on Nina’s doorstep, about to head off to the UK to talk things through with Mick. I honestly don’t think I can take anymore heartbreak – so don’t stuff this up, OK Billie? Thanks.
