Penelope Rowe giggles when we ask her to describe her relationship with her eldest daughter Jessica.
“Hmm, how do I describe Jessica?” she tells Woman’s Day. “Let’s say she makes me laugh a lot.
“When she was tiny, she used to clutch onto my skirt and hide behind me when anyone spoke to me. And she’s just developed into this resilient, mature and very funny person,” she adds.
“She’s the most thoughtful, beautiful daughter.”
MAKING IT HAPPEN
While it’s hard to imagine the jubilant and outgoing Jess ever being shy, she credits her growth to her mother, who told her from a very early age that she could do anything in her life.
“She’s the most beautiful mum, she’s always told us we can do whatever we put our minds to, but it’s up to us to make it happen,” Jess says.
“Mum always gave us the tools to show us that that was possible. And she did that through our close relationship. We’d always be talking. I always knew I could come to her with whatever I was going through.”
Jess, 54, and Penelope, 78, are so good at talking, they even spilled their innermost thoughts in a joint memoir, The Best Of Times, The Worst Of Times.
Released 20 years ago this year, at a time when mental illness was rarely discussed by people in the public eye, the book laid bare their experiences dealing with Penelope’s depression and bipolar disorder.
“To do that book together, it was an enormous privilege because we were able to write our accounts separately, and then come together to exchange drafts. It was almost a love letter to each other, and it gave me even more insight into mum and into the extraordinary woman that she is.”
“Some of the things Jessica said I thought, ‘Oh, I didn’t know that’, or ‘Oh, that’s so sad,’ and I imagine probably the same thing happened with some of the things I wrote,” Penelope adds.
“But we had built that intimacy and trust beforehand to say, ‘Yes, we can write this book and make it a good book,’” she says.
“We’ve always been so close.”
THE SCAM
Having an open forum in their homes has been a saving grace for the pair, particularly recently, when they were both involved in elaborate scams.
With Penelope, a scammer hacked into her friend’s phone and messaged her requesting Apple gift cards as a way of helping them out of financial strife.
Jess had a scammer pose as an assistant for US comedian Chelsea Handler, who, wanting to book Jess on her podcast, was demanding a down payment first. After discussing it each other, the pair were able to shut down the scammers before they gave any money away.
They have now teamed up with the Commonwealth Bank for their Talk To A Loved One campaign, which urges Australians to talk to your loved ones when you feel like something isn’t right.
“It’s all about intergenerational conversations. So mum and I talk a lot, my daughters and I talk a lot. It’s just about keeping those communication channels open and not being embarrassed at all,” Jess says, adding that statistics reveal older Australians are more susceptible to scams because of the stigma and shame they feel when they realised they’ve been scammed.
“But it can happen to any of us at any time, and you think you’re aware, but now some of the modern scams are getting more elaborate and much more tailored. It’s terrifying!”
When the pair aren’t thwarting off pesky scammers, Jess says they’re laughing through life together as if they’re best friends on a journey.
“We love to laugh. We love to chat. We love to travel together,” Jess says.
Just perhaps not any housework. “Jess’ folding of the washing is a bit of a problem,” Penelope laughs of her daughter, who often calls herself a “Crap Housewife”.
“Mind you, when I was bringing up my three daughters and there was all this washing and they wouldn’t put it away. I’d just wash it again. That’s how I dealt with it.
“But I have to say, Jess does an amazing roast chook now and her pavlovas are sensational!” she says with a smile.
For Jess and Penelope’s tips on how to protect yourself against scams, visit CommBank’s website here.
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