Remember when Tiger Woods’ cheating controversy consumed the media? It was a simpler time; an elite athlete embroiled in a sex scandal instead of the U.S president.
In 2010, porn star Joslyn James and cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs released transcripts of text messages with the pro golfer. Obviously there were sexually explicit ones, but there’s some really underrated banal content lurking in there.
In one exchange, Grubbs calls golf boring (a claim we’ve fact checked and has proved true) and Woods ignores her for an hour.
(Sept. 30, 3:38 p.m.)
Jaimee: if we hang out on a Sundway we can watch desperate houswives again haha
Tiger: oh god
Jaimee: take a break from watching boring old golf
Jaimee: I mean the amazing sport of golf 😉
Jaimee: [more than an hour later] babe I was kidding
Tiger: I know sexy
An exchange between James and Woods is actually iconic in how expertly she swerves his requests for a threesome by discussing literature.
(Aug. 29, 3:37 p.m.)
Tiger: Do you ever hook up with other guys or girls
Joslyn: Oh, yr asking about the book club? Anyone can join.
Tiger: You didnt answer the question
Joslyn: Yes Tiger there are other guys and girls in the book club.
Tiger: Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust
Joslyn: I keep telling you, there’s nothing embarrassing about Eat Pray Love. We’ll talk about it and drink cosmos!
Tiger: Does that excite you at all or no
Joslyn: Yeah, should be fun. Don’t like E. Gilberts 2nd book tho. Overwritten.
Sure, Tiger might have asked if the women were into golden showers, but then there’s this:
There’s also a couple that make you feel pretty bad for him – he seems really down on himself, and not in a flirty, sexy way.
Jaimee: u are my first, last and only black guy! U should feel special
Tiger: why do I not believe that?
Tiger: [later, in response to Jaimee’s mention of a date who was “full of himself”] you kinda like that for some reason which is weird why you decided on me.
Tiger: having an asian mother and a military father you cannot and will not ever be full of yourself
Who can believe this all happened seven years ago – time flies when you measure it by other people’s extramarital affairs.
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