It’s an experience that has scarred schoolchildren for as long as there has been organised education – and one that four high-profile Australians haven’t forgotten in a hurry.
At first glance, they may not fit the stereotype of the bullying victim, but Michelle Bridges, Hazem El Masri, Ruby Rose and Rebecca Breeds all suffered
at the hands of schoolyard bullies.
When contacted by The Weekly to participate in this story, each leapt at the chance to share their stories in the hope they would serve as an example to bully victims – proof positive that a world of personal and professional fulfilment lies waiting just outside the school gates.
It was, they all said in interviews after the photo shoot, their desire to shine a light on what leading psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg calls “one of the most overlooked public health issues of our time”. Their two-pronged message to young people who are being bullied: “You’re not alone” and “It gets better”.
Ruby Rose: TV presenter and actress
“It only really started when I got to high school. I was never really one of those kids who blended in. By the time I got to high school, I was different enough to attract the attention of bullies. The fact I refused to apologise for being different just added fuel to their fire.
I was raised by a single mum; we never had much money. I couldn’t afford the clothes all the girls were wearing and I’d get around in Blundstones and trackies. I started doing a bit of modelling and that seemed to annoy the bullies. Plus, there was the fact I was gay. It was usually groups of girls who would hassle me.
Year 10 was the worst. It got so bad, I begged my mum to change schools. It’s not her fault, she never really knew how bad it was, but she would tell me to ignore the bullies and they would go away. They didn’t.
One afternoon after school, I was attacked in a café. A metal chair was smashed repeatedly against the back of my head. The whole school had gathered to watch it happen. And as much as the pain of the attack was awful, the thing that hurt me the most afterwards was that no one stepped in to try to stop it. I remember looking up while the attack was taking place and seeing people laughing. I had to be taken to hospital.
When you’re at school, it’s hard to see beyond those four walls. You’re too young and have too little life experience to know that school is just a tiny blip on what will hopefully be a long and happy life. It was only when I left school that I discovered there’s a whole world out there – and it’s a big, exciting, tolerant world, filled with people just like you.
Do I harbour any bitterness towards the bullies? Not really. I used to, but now I’m older I look back and think those same girls have probably had their own disappointments and challenges and tragedies in their lives, and at some point had to face their own demons. As Oprah says, hating someone
is like drinking poison every day.”
Michelle Bridges: Personal trainer
“A lot of people find it hard to believe when I tell them I was bullied quite badly at school. I was always the new girl. I went to three different primary schools and two different high schools. I went to every new school trying so hard to fit in. Perhaps, I just tried too hard. I became the target of bullies. It was mostly other girls.
There was a lot of name-calling, I remember once being slapped across the face and the contents of my bag were often strewn across the playground. One time, a bunch of kids ganged up and started punching me. I clearly remember being beaten up in the playground and everyone standing around laughing.
Every Sunday night, I would cry because I didn’t want to go to school the next day. I was scared to be sick or have the day off for fear that when I returned, the bullies would have turned the few friends I had against me.
And the bullying would follow me from school to school. When I moved high schools, the girls who had bullied me at my old school sent me a box in the mail.
They had turned my boyfriend against me, gathered up all the letters and cards and presents I had given him, really private things, and defaced them, ripped them, broke them, written horrible things on them and sent them in the mail to me. I was devastated. The bullying was so bad, I considered dropping out of school in Year 10.
“I believe my life started when I left school. When you’re at school, you can’t imagine there’s life outside, but there is and it can be so good. I look at my life now and look back to my school days and realise that as hard as they were, they will only ever be a tiny fraction of my entire life. My message to kids who are being bullied: life gets better. There’s a whole world waiting for you out there in which differences are celebrated, not feared.”
Rebecca Breeds: Actress
“In my early teens, I was quite a pudgy kid. I was active and ate healthily, but I seemed to carry a lot of puppy fat. In primary school, I had enough of a charismatic personality to be able to carry it, but when I got to high school, things got nasty.
The worst of the bullying was when I was 14. The whole grade of boys and one girl, who went from being my best friend to my chief tormentor, would hurl abuse
at me, calling me “Stumpy” and “Fatty”.
I used to come home from school and bawl because I didn’t have a flat stomach like the other girls at school. I used to go running with my dad and I seemed to be constantly on a diet, but it was just my body shape, which no amount of starving myself was going to change. I became so desperate that after eating one night I went to the toilet and made myself vomit. And I remember that moment very clearly. I caught sight of myself hunched over the toilet bowl and was horrified that it had come to this. In that moment I had a revelation: it might make me skinny, but it was also going to make me hollow.
Fast forward 10 years and the playground bullies have faded. I look at where we are all at now. A lot of them still haven’t really made peace with themselves. I am in such a good place by comparison.
The only thing I would say to parents is just love and support your kids. Be there for them and remind them whenever you can that school is just one experience in
a lifetime’s worth of experiences.”
Hazem El Masri: Former professional rugby league player
“I moved to Australia from Lebanon when I was 10. We were escaping a war-torn country. My parents wanted to make a new start for their family in a new country.
On my first day at school, I didn’t speak a word of English. I had my fair share of pushing, shoving and fighting at school, mostly because I was different, because I spoke a different language and couldn’t communicate with the other kids.
In Lebanon, we only went to school half the time and spent the rest of the time just trying to stay alive. I never wanted to fight the bullies, but it got to the point where I had to stand up for myself. I would walk to school with my little brother and always remember feeling very protective of him.
I was luckier than a lot of kids who get picked on as I was able to perform on the sports field and that saved me a little bit.
I have three kids now. It’s really important to me as a parent that my kids go to school without being afraid. It’s up to the parents of bullies to keep their kids in check. Most parents don’t want to believe their kids are capable of bullying, but they are.
My message to kids who are being bullied: Don’t give up. School is just a small part of your life. And try to talk to someone, a parent, a teacher, a coach.
You don’t have to struggle alone.”
Photography by Peter Brew-Bevan. Styling by Amanda Newman
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