TRIGGER WARNING: This article discusses abuse, eating disorders and suicide. If you or someone you know has been affected by the issues raised in this article, help is always available. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
With the revelations that she suffered years of terrible abuse at the hands of her father Damir Dokic out in the open after the release of her first explosive memoir, Jelena Dokic finally felt healed enough to plan her own beautiful future.
She had rebuilt the $10 million fortune she claims her father took from her, thanks to a new tennis career coaching and commentating, and was in a happy long-term relationship with the man she credits with saving her life.
That all came crashing down two days before Christmas in 2021, when her partner of 19 years, Tin Bikic, told her over the phone, “Yes, we are done,” after they spent five months apart when he went home to Serbia and never returned to Australia.
“It’s been two years now and I struggled with that at the beginning, it was a shock, there’s no doubt about that,” Jelena, 40, told Woman’s Day on the eve of the release of her memoir, Fearless: Finding The Power To Thrive, which she wrote with journalist Jessica Halloran.
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“I’m in a great place now and again I think, like a lot of my experiences in my life, getting help has really helped with that. It’s the first time ever I’ve had to deal with that situation. It will stay with me forever, it’s such a big part of my life.”
Jelena and her father who was also her tennis coach. (Credit: Supplied)
“I think the world of him. I’m still figuring out what my future looks like. I love living alone. I’ve never lived alone and it was an adjustment but I now love it and I have so many great things to focus on. We will see what happens in the future.”
“Do I still believe in love and always will? Absolutely, so we will see what the future brings. We talk here and there. We support each other and have a little bit of contact. Regardless of what happens we will always have love and respect for each other.”
Tin was the person who helped her recover after she left her father and the family home in Croatia, broke and with just a suitcase and a tennis racquet.
Jelena says her father Damir forced her to sign over “millions” of dollars when she was just 19 years old.
Jelena started playing when she was just six. (Credit: Getty)
Becoming a mum
Tin was also the man Jelena planned to spend the rest of her life with, revealing, “We were going to have kids,” before the shock split, so she never even considered freezing her eggs as an insurance policy for motherhood.
“It’s something I’ve thought long and hard about, and maybe that situation or kids will not happen for me and that’s OK. I’ve kind of, to be honest, made peace with that,” she says.
“But also for me if I do have kids – and I do actually want to have kids because I love kids – I’m going to go the adoption route. I’ve always wanted to do that, regardless of whether I have my own kids.”
“I think there are a lot of unfortunate little kids out there who do need love and a stable home and I think I can provide that even if I’m on my own. It’s something I’m thinking of doing and it’s something I think I might do in the next three to five years.”
In her second book, Jelena once again opened up about her extraordinary life following the revelations of terrible beatings and psychological and emotional abuse she shared with the world in her first memoir, Unbreakable, which she released in 2017.
Jelena and Tim broke up in 2021 (Credit: Getty)
“To anyone struggling in your life, this book is for you,” she wrote in the foreword to Fearless, which documents what Jelena describes as a life spent in constant fear, with daily threats from Damir on top of beatings so severe that he hit her with a belt until she bled or was unconscious.
The abuse, which began when she was just six years old and starting to learn tennis, left her suicidal.
Damir’s tyrannical regime, that included denying Jelena food and water for days as a punishment for not playing well enough, left her with a severe binge eating disorder.
“I am not fully healed. I have not fully recovered. I am a work in progress. But I am a fighter,” she says in Fearless, in which she also reveals that she has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, depression, anxiety and PTSD.
The scars are still there.
Jelena Dokic’s book Fearless came out on the 12th of September 2023. (Credit: Viking)
She recently caught up with her brother Savo and mum Ljiljana Dokic on a holiday to Croatia, but hasn’t forgiven her mother for turning a blind eye to the abuse that many suspected was happening when former world No. 4 Jelena was playing grand slams around the world.
“We’ve had some tough conversations and I’m glad at this stage of my life we can now have a good relationship and we can talk and I can visit after all of those years,” Jelena says.
“She knew a lot more and understood a lot more after she read my first book – how things were for me and how I felt. Just having those conversations, and even her being apologetic… I do appreciate that and it’s enough for me to kind of have a good relationship moving forward.”
Finding Peace
“I believe in acceptance. I think forgiveness is great, but not everyone can do that. I think that acceptance is a big part of it, and absolutely of course she knew, and she kind of had her own reasons. Still though, certain things are very hard for me to deal with and accept her role with everything.”
“I’m happy with where we are now.”
She is now a champion for body positivity. (Credit: Getty)
The one person she will never forgive or accept back into her life is her father and coach Damir.
“We haven’t been [in contact] for a very long time. I don’t see that changing or that relationship changing. It is very hard to have a relationship with someone who has no remorse or can’t even say sorry.”
A brave Jelena continued, “He’s just not capable of having good relationships. I don’t think I would be able to move on or heal if I was still holding onto that, or trying to have a relationship with anybody who was bringing that toxicity into my life.”
Despite years of heartache, Jelena hasn’t given up on love or finding a partner to share her life with.
“I do believe in love but I’m someone who is a little bit more of an introvert and a little bit shy,” she said.
“It’s not something I’m ready to do at the moment. I believe in love but I don’t think I’m ready for that just yet.”
